Blitzkrieg Italy!!

Dep. Catania: 0655 31 Dec. Leaving on a jet plane...Arrivederci!

Arrive Roma: 0900 31 Dec. Happy New Year!! And it's in Rome...Do a dance...
Dep. Roma: 0600 2 Jan. 2004!!! yeah baby...

Arrive Pise: 0820 2 Jan. train, train, train...
Dep. Pise: 1209 2 Jan. see the tower, bounce on out

Arrive Firenze: 1332 2 Jan. Florence....Musica!
Dep. Firenze: 0645 3 Jan. more train action

Arrive Venezia: 1014 3 Jan. Water....everywhere...and then some.
Dep. Venezia:1251 3 Jan. might find I can't really swim all that well

Arrive Milano: 1555 Jan.3 "it's the New York or LA of Italy." and what's Rome...Nashville?
Dep. Milano: 1000 Jan.4 I'm going, going, back, back...

Arrive Firenze: 1245 Jan.4 ...to Florence, Florence
Dep. Firenze: 1830 Jan. 4 On the plane again...da da da da da da, On the plane again...

Arrive Catania 2005 Jan. 4 Avec ma famille...awww.

Yeah! Out on: Blitzkrieg, Tour de Italie! Until then---

I haven't done this in a while... I just lost a long blog, dang it. And I'm too tired to try it again! stupid internet! crap on a crapper! I'm tired! BED! Until then---

So I'm over here in Italy and the jet lag that was supposed to get to me, kinda isn't really getting to me. There is a 9 hour difference, for those of you that don't know, so I'm really writing this at about 12:20 am here. So me being tired just has to do with the fact that it's dark out here and I've been out most of the day...
Sicily is sweet, btw! It's an interesting island and I will try to keep you guys as updated as possible. I went to the city closest to here, Catania (look it up), and it looks like it'll be the place to be if there is a party...(ahem, as in I plan on being there or Athens or Rome for New Years...) The island is supposedly more like old Italy than the mainland and though I haven't been, I'm looking forward to checking as much of that out as possible. He he, I'm actually trying to save my mom from being stuck in the house, too. I've found that there really is stuff to do here (contrary to my sister: "It's boring here", "There's nothing to do here") Just in the city, I've seen soo much. I would love it here...for a while. Ha, really all I'm saying is that there's just as much to do here as there is in Orange. Ok, no... more than that. The fun part is the language. It's funny coz my Nana (mom's mom) is here for the second time and niether her nor my parents have caught on to the language as quickly as I have. Though, I admit, I probably wouldn't be able to carry a conversation...In fact, I know I couldn't, but it's fun trying to understand and learning as I go. Basically I'm pairing the two high school years of French that I had and the one semester of Greek that I've taken and applying it to what I pick up to figure out the meaning. Very fun, eh? Ha ha, well the place is beautiful and so are the people. I think that it's the wine or something but the majority of the people here are beautiful...and I'm definitely speaking of the ladies here. In the small area I've found...wow. Unfortunately, that language barrier and being around my parents the whole time...not so cool. I would like to try the language thing but...unless I am just with my brother, I will probably get no play. Or should I say chance for play. I'm still an idiot, so if the chance isn't there... shoot even is the chance is there... Just like the Italian one at home. Oh well. She's still on my mind too, and if she hasn't been I know that she would love it here...it reminds me of her so much. Sad coz we're nothing. Oh well again. I'll try to keep updated. Caio!! Until then---

I should probably face it: nothing is ever going to happen. Until then---

with you, adieu

what if i'm wrong
why can't that be right
why question my step
before i've lifted a foot
why look at me wrong
when i know that's not right
why i'll sing you a song
the evening is still young
for you i will cry
before there is any reason
and how are my steps full
when i find myself empty
in search for a Truth
finding i find it
not in me, or you
seeing a part in you
what truth i've found
i doubt again, again i doubt
you and me and how
does He know
will he tell
i give no chance
but for me to fall
from that i rely on
with no feet on the ground
to Rock where i hide
away from it all, and you
yet my place behind is dark
no Light and empty
so this is for you
in hope that i will be
more than me, oui, less of me
firm and true

Until then---

Cake rules! What have I been doing not gettinga solid daily dosage? Anyway, the excuse of being consumed with work for finals has been gone since friday, so I think that now is a good time to update. Proabably earlier but what ever. So what do I do now that I'm on break? Play guitar, play video games, and wish that all the people that lived in the dorms were still around. I got way used to being over at the dorms hanging out with the crew that now I'm way bored... ok mostly bored. It's noce to have time to play guitar though. Ah...so nice. I've even recorded some new stuff, acoustically and very simple of course, on my cpu. I've been working on a CD for a special someone... the last song was written for her... we'll see how that goes (I may get killed by an ex for that..). Anyway, not much from my side. I'll be back another time. Until then---

I think that I'm at a draught again. I can't really think anymore...too many things to do. It's the most wonderful time of the year. Right? When you're in college on semesters or quarters, this is a very hectic time. If your a parent, or have family at all, they want to see you. Friends want to see you. And then, almost regardless if you really celebrate the birth of Christ or not, there is the whole gift thing. The world gets to see consumerism in it's finest hour. Winter break/ time is not really known for the actual "reason for the season." And even those that are celebrating for that reason don't take the time to really sppreciate it. It's weird for me, coz since I know that there is no real way, based on scientific fact, that Christ was born in the Winter therefore not the day we celebrate it, and it's my birthday. As a Christian, I think that it's cool to celebrate Christ's birth but what's more important is that fact of why he was here. More importantly, if we are going to celebrate Christ's birth, our giving should return to God for sending Him in the first place. No worries of what to give but ourselves and what we are as ourselves to Him. The sharing of our own gifts that God has given each of us, we should have gone out and made twice over to give back to His body - all Christians. Simple enough, I think. I shall now go back to the world as it is, and pray that someday we'll realize just what He means. Until then---

I was not paying any attention in poetry class yesterday. Here's what i came up with:

Monday

Drone Drone
I sit unalone
I sit writing a poem
A way A way
It's early today
And nothing I say
Lend Lend
My ears to a friend
Don't write with this pen
Long Long
I think of this song
I string it along

Until then---

"Wake up, wake up, wake up it's the first of the month..." Good old Bone Thugs. I can't believe that it's freaking December...well I can only because I just had a fat turkey dinner. Anyway: 24 days till can get plastered legally! Ok so I'm not really looking forward to that too much. It'll be cool to pick up some good red wine though... mmmmm. What I meant to really say was: 24 days till I go to see my family in Italy! So stoked. I've still got stuff I've got to do before I can get my ticket but... awesome. This is actually funny too because as it is I haven't seen my family in two years, but since August, my sister won't talk to me until I go out there. She's such a weirdo; she doesn't talk much on the phone when we talk anyway. But she's one of my best friends, and it's good to hear her voice, so this is kind of a low blow. She's like that though. Funny.
Anyway, got to find some sort of a job so I can pay rent...I'm not sure about this month or next month at all, let alone after that...screwed. Actually: prayer. It will get taken care of if I trust God...and I really don't have any other choice. That's a good thing though to have God to rely on to do what's best for you. In other words, I don't know what I'm going to have to do to get the money just yet, but I'll get it somehow. (Don't be thinking nasty now!) Well I'm outty...need to go serching a bit. Until then---

There's a reason why I'm drawn to you. I just can't put my finger on it. I also can never say what I really want to. I'm worse than you females. Hinting without hinting yet waiting for a reply. I disgust myself. Those blue eyes... beautiful blue eyes that daunt me and stare at me when I do something stupid. Or when you do and have no clue. It's cute. And you're funny, and you don't know it. I'm not including the times that you're really not trying to be funny but are rather confused. You can seriously be funny. It's cool. So where this is we will never be again - it's ever changing. hopefully never farther than the day before. Just knowing you is fun. To know you better is to be... I don't know. I'll have to see. It's not me, it's you. Someday I'll open my mouth and you'll know it, too. Until then---

something for tonight

i've come to know
all that I
should be depraved
of all the things
i seem to find
of all the things
i want to need
i seem to bleed
though not as much as You
when i remember

i've come to know
some parts of me
i want to be
naked and free
to show me just me
and you just you
in something i can't see
won't ever see
cos there is no more
just less of me

depraved unworthy
allowed to be
just to be for You
and nothing greater
i feel i hate her
i feel i what who
i know i love you
for what i don't know
and that i can't show
not given time
to make me have again

Until then---

So I just have one question? Why is it that my "friends" don't call me to hang out... ever? Just a question...
Transmission from a Lonely Friday Night.
i sit here
alone and thinking
alone unthinking
beliving what seems to be
what leads to the
feeling of empty truths
that mean
i mean
they take my mind away
so much goes through
i read into the little things too much
and not into You enough
there's no hope in what's here
for me
when i look
there it shows to me
the only way
out there
out where
somewhere out where
where i never could be
could never fit
and so it sit and think
alone i think
"i'm alone"

Until then---

Why is it that every time that I update this thing I'm skipping class...? It's 11:30 and I decided in my Human Nutrition lab this morning that I wasn't going to the lecture. Don't ask why...I'm on break already. So uh..it's been awhile. I guess I've been going to class, ha ha. Well I have a lot to catch up on don't I? Quick details:
Halloween day went thriftin' with A.C. (Aaron, Aaron's roomate..he he), he was dressing as Wilson from Home Improvment, I ended up being Samuel L. Jackson, aka One Bad Ass Motha F@#$a, in his leisure clothes. Just roamed the night away, and saw "The Ring" (funny movie) and "28 Days Later" (could have only been more awesome if Samuel L. Jackson was in it...basically movie=awesome) and hung out with some friends til late...ah Halloween.
On the 5th of this month, I finally got another job. (Yay money!) Especially important coz there's no more soccer games. (Less money, booo...) It's a tutoring job for high schoolers, easy $9/ hr. I still need to find more work though...
7th of this month: SAN DIEGO! SWITCHFOOT! I finally got to go home after a long time of not being there. A.C. came with me. It's a very scary place right now...at least to me. The devastation from the fires really put me into shock. I couldn't bear to drive into areas where I knew that there were lost homes. The smell of burning was still in the air, as well as smoke and this was a week later...it sucked. We went by my Alma mater it was Home coming...good times...yet weird. The peeps that were frosh my senior year are seniors now. Weird. Anyway, Switchfoot! Got to see them for the first itm since they've been signed down at Soma. Great show. Things have definitely moved up for them. They are still such an inspiration. On the drive back, A.C. and I were making plans to play and get on the same page...for real, no messin' around. We'll be coming up with stuff very soon. Will keep you posted.
On the same note, David and I played the other day and he's stepped it up. It's been a month since I've played with him and I think that may have been a good thing. He's gotten a lot better. I can actually see me playing with him now and not just dragging him along in hopes that he'll work things out. Ladies and Gentlemen, we may have a band...
Remember Samson. 24 hour Men Madness, November 14 was awesome.
Well not much yet on the day. I'll keep on posting. Until then---

I guess now that both Grant and Aro have commented on the fires, it's my turn...especially since I actually do know people that had to evacuate their homes. All of the fires in San Diego have affected someone that I know... in most cases, many multiple someones. I've spent probably way too much time worrying and thinking about what's going on down there. Even though I got a call form my good friend Blake that everyone in his parents/his neighborhood is okay and got out of their homes before the fire went through, I'm still in utter shock and awe. The fire did more than comsume houses, and beautiful SD: they've consumed my mind. Nothing I do can seem to take the freaking fires off of my mind. I have dreams about them, in places that I've created with people that I don't even know...intense dreams. I wasn't sleeping too well...
I got an instant message within the past couple of nights telling me that the house that another one of my friends (who really cannot afford this to happen) house has burned down, too. NO MORE!! And the small town of Julian is in danger too...I don't know. Home doen't seem like home anymore. It's been killed; chared to death; blackened and smoldering; beautiful smells, once burned, are quite rancid. Yet, I still miss home. Some how, I think that it was snowed on me and I may have breathed some of it in.
Just pray... Until then---

I got a hug today.
It was just what I needed.
Thanks.
Until then---

So I am currently skipping class again today. Don't ask why...I really just didn't feel like going. Besides, I never really feel like going so that's not a good excuse. Honestly, I couldn't get myself out of bed this morning really. Hmm... I just take those type of things as signs. Besides that, I'm having a real hard time with whether I really want to be even taking classes right now... anyway...
Yesterday, I made a difficult choice in my music career. I got a call for Breakfast Epiphanies to play at Chapman's homecoming festivities. Well this was all the more interesting because BE is going through major change and really all that's left is me. I've been trying to work with this drummer, David, who is cool, and really wants to play but he still can't feel music. He's got technique down pretty well, but no soul goes into what he plays. I want to help him out by playing with him but I feel as though I should be getting paid to work with him. It has stopped being fun, but rather frustrating to play with him. I wish that it could work, but I know that it won't right now. So there's me... and my guitars, and my songs... I figured that I'd play on my own and put on the show. I am Breakfast Epiphanies.
Also yesterday I started playing a bit with Aro's roomate, Aaron (he he, and that's for mutiple reasons). He plays bass and sings. Sweet. We are going to keep playing with each other, but we don't know where it'll go. We'll have to see. I'm already having more fun than I have been these past few months. Sad. Anyway, off to make arrangements for my songs so I can play them by myself and not suck. Until then---

So can anybody tell me this: why is it that the only women that respond to my guitarist ad are over 30... or close to it? Are there no younger female guitarists that sing out there?! To some, that may be confusing. In the process of rebuilding Breakfast Epiphanies, I need to find a female guitarist to sing (and of course play) with to fill out the sound of the band. Basically I need her for the voice but we also have a need fo another guitar...why not two in one? Besides, what would a backing vocalist look like with nothing else to do but sing? Weird. So this process has been going on since April... maybe March, and the youngest one (of the many I've tried out) was 27. Twenty friggin' seven! That's seven years on me!! Do they understand that I was finishing elementary school when they graduated high school? Anyway, I'm actually finding that most musicians out there looking for stuff are older...men as well. Kind of scary. Especially when they respond to an ad that may say: "Female Guitarist/Vocalist needed." In the delectable words of Aro: What the crap! Any way, still searching obviously looking for compatibility as well but I'd like to find someone who can play... period. Haven't gotten many of those in the search...but what ever. They'll come when they need to. Really, all of this was just a question anyway...not a rant. I'll step down now. Until then---

a poem

stand out on a limb
inch out
a bit
stepping
breathe in the freshness
the newness
air
a feeling
a freedom and chance
to let go
drop
everything
that you have come to know
or have become
inside
when you had
but you never really had a thing
that meant
a thing
so that now
you feel something new
and that
now
it's all
right before your eyes
no longer hidden behind a face
a mask you saw for way too long
and you lived behind its shadowed way
and now you slowly step out from
all you've been and known
from inside the darkness
into the light
you fall

Until then---

Lovely homework... I'm taking this American poetry class which is pretty cool... lot's of discussion on a topic that I can do. Well we've got this project due tomorrow in which we have to turn verse (a poem) into prose (essay form/sentences/stupid structure). I didn't really want to do something that has been done... Honestly, I kinda wanted to use one of my own writings, but I happened to fall across Aro's Quiche of the Day and I think that this entry is perfect for my project. Read one of them and then the other... I think that it's cool:

Intersection.
Wait for the little red hand to disappear
on the crosswalk light and
then push off hard
and fast
into the street
past the Explorers and Escorts already lining up
at the stoplight.

The asfault of the street
is darker than the concrete of the sidewalk
and rises before it falls,
like a hill you only notice on a skateboard.
Kick off twice
to get to the middle of the street,
side by side with the roaring cross traffic,
then once more
in the center,
at the top,
and ride the rest of the way
down,
then up again
sharply onto the smoother sidewalk
and you’re sailing again.

It’s sometime after seven on Friday night
and Tustin Avenue has everything you need,
trust me.
It’s my inaugural trip to Tustin tonight,
first one of the fall.
I’ve been wanting to decorate
my room
with posters
and pictures
of my family
and my girlfriend
and so I am in the market
push-pins or
sticky-tack or
both.
If Christina were here
with her bike
we’d be enroute to Rite-Aide,
but she’s moved into an apartment,
so I’m going solo,
and though that doesn’t mean
I’m lost,
it does mean I forgot
which way to turn down the
Everything Avenue.

So I’m just on the lookout.

You see things on a bike you don’t see in a car:
the moon in the
milky blue sky above telephone wires strung between poles like an empty music staff;
a trio of young men
lugging five boxes of Corona between them
across the parking lot.
And stores and stores and stores.
No different really,
then a marketplace in any period drama
and I have the sense of being
a visitor
in my own time.

Until then---

Right now, just thinking... Just thinking about my next talk for Tuesday at Refuge: The purpose of God...or something like that; thinking about this article I just read on music piracy/file sharing/whatever else you want to call it and how it's not goign to go away anytime soon. You know what...? I'm going to talk about that coz as a musician, i should care, right? In a way, I definitely do see that this is stealing from possible profits that could be made. But the issue is, who makes the profit? I know, being a musician, that unless you're the producer, distributer, and recorder/engineer, you don't make money on CD sales. The rising prices of CDs leads to the idea that getting songs for free is much more worth the effort rather than supporting the band. I was just thinking. A little more. If we...musicians in this case... got rid of all of the middle men, and learned how to take care of ourselves...or could at least know what's going on, we could make some real money on GOOD music. The producers/record labels just want to put out something catchy. Who hears any substance on the radio anymore? Most all the bands considered old, or too experimental, or (insert crappy insult here), like Bush, Stone Temple Pilots, Smashing Pumpkins (just before being refused their last record contract), Pearl Jam, etc. are freaking amazing and actually wrote good poetry/lyrics and music that moved(s). Moved beyond a four chord chorus that mirrors the verse. With guitarists not afraid to rip out a solo...ever. My gosh..I'm stopping now and going to sleep dreaming of that: GOOD MUSIC. Until then---