31.8.03

Yeah so I know I'm pathetic, sitting at home on a Saturday night after working a soccer game, but I got to do something that I've needed to do for a long time: finally see Pulp Fiction. That is such a freaking awesome movie. It's hillarious. Definitely more reason for Samuel L. Jackson to be the badass of the century...quoting Ezekiel (who's quoting God) just before killing someone. Dang. And then realizing what the passage should really mean after, somehow, bullets go through him and his partner Vincent (John Travolta). A must see if you haven't but I'm pretty sure that I was the only one left... Until then---

27.8.03

I was feeling this song today...so I decided i'd share:

Climbing up on Solsbury Hill
I could see the city lights
Wind was blowing, time stood still
Eagle flew out of the night
He was something to observe
Came in close, I heard a voice
Standing stretching every nerve
Had to listen had no choice
I did not believe the information
Just had to trust imagination
My heart going boom boom boom
"Son," he said "Grab your things,
I've come to take you home."

To keepin' silence I resigned
My friends would think I was a nut
Turning water into wine
Open doors would soon be shut
So I went from day to day
Tho' my life was in a rut
'Till I thought of what I'd say
Which connection I should cut
I was feeling part of the scenery
I walked right out of the machinery
My heart going boom boom boom
"Hey" he said "Grab your things
I've come to take you home."

When illusion spin her net
I'm never where I want to be
And liberty she pirouette
When I think that I am free
Watched by empty silhouettes
Who close their eyes but still can see
No one taught them etiquette
I will show another me
Today I don't need a replacement
I'll tell them what the smile on my face meant
My heart going boom boom boom
"Hey" I said "You can keep my things,
they've come to take me home."
-Peter Gabriel
Until then---

24.8.03

Oh yeah... I forgot...fantasy footbal draft...nice. And...

I got my phone call. Pretty stoked. Until then---
I'm bored, so I think I'm going to write or something. I dunno really what I'm going to put here. Right now I kind of have a headache. But not really... The SCR party is going down somewhere areound here, but I don't really want to go coz I'm kinda waiting for a phone call from a long lost...not really...maybe long not heard from, may still be, but not sure, but also hoping so, girlfriend of mine. I don't know. Just a little thing. That seemed a weird thing to write... Idunno, maybe nasty. I'm thinking about playing with another band until BE can get it's act together...but I dunno if that's right... It's kinda my fault that it's not really there right now, I guess... But I think that God has me on call...like I've got to really call Him...bad. Freaking school starts tomorrow! Dang it all! I don't wantto go... I pretty much over school. I enjoy learning as long as the homework doesn't suck. or maybe no home work... I've got to figure out how to make some real money... I have none and I may only have one guitar lesson set up so far for this fall. I need to advertize more. I GIVE GUITAR LESSONS!!! THEY ARE GOOD!! I SWEAR THAT YOU GET MORE FOR YOUR BUCK WITH ME THAN SOMEWHERE ELSE!! I'm too concieted...egotistical? what ever..both probably. I think that I may want to do Chapman Radio finally...but at the same time Idunno if I want to take that time away from anything else that I could potentially do...like ... this? I'm done...still bored...don't want to type any more...at least for now...video games? Until then---
Right now I smell like smoke and you weren't even there. I'm going to vent for a second. Maybe it's not really venting but it getting something out that I'm just so confuzed about. I don't know what's going on; with me with you, us. I haven't even had a chance to really talk with you since you've been home. All I know is that when you left, we were on the "we're not sure" and "let's wait on God for this time away" terms and we're supposed to see what's up now that you're back. I'll just say that it's messing me up. With some of the other stuff that's going on with me, I just don't know what to think when you say you'll call me and don't get around to it. At the same time, I know you're busy and I don't want to impose on that. That is definitely mutual understanding. You seem excited when I call you but phone conversation is never as real as face-to-face. I need to be able to talk to you everyonce in a while. It's not like you're on another country anymore which was hard enough. But I know...I"m supposed to be waiting to see what God wants to do. Well I want to know if what I heard matched up with what you heard! I just feel as though I'm losing it; myself, and all that I know God has planned, coz I know that I'm not always in tune with what God wants for me. I feel like I'm habitually screwing His plans for me up. I don't want this to be another one...another screw up. I don't like being a failure especially for the One who has been there for me since forever. I'm just wondering where we stand...that's all. I know my side, but I think, somehow, I've ruined it... I've failed... somehow... again. Until then---

20.8.03

So I think that I've been away long enough. I'm going to attempt, once again, to update this on at least a semi-frequent basis. And once again, you can watch me fail miserably! Anyway, just a short blurb to say "I'm back!" Until then---