ThouGHts WHIlE StarinG at A Wall
while putting up the Christmas lights at my place of work (a house if you didn't know... and not mine), i saw a random space between the property i was on and the property next door. of course, i immediately got to the questions "who owns that? is that no man's land?" aside from the fact that i thought about this rather oft-used phrase 'no-man's land' for the first time as land that no one owned and not just as land out in the middle of nowhere, it got me to thinking. why wouldn't the phrase have been this is "God's land?"
people always got to be so negative, ha.
until then---
4.12.11
2.12.11
i'm doing this survey for USA Ultimate (formerly Ultimate Players Association) since i am a paying member, and it's kind of bad. it's like one of those situations where they're trying to lead you to say something that they want you to rather than get a genuine response (those have a specific name, but i'm at a loss as to what they are called. could just be a Leading Question, but that seems too easy.), among other things as well.
so here's a written response that i gave them, and though it's not nasty or bitter or anything controversial, i thought it'd be good to post. (the bold is from the survey, non-bold is my response.)
Since your response to the previous question suggested that you don't feel that these six goals provide the right direction for USA Ultimate...
How would you change, or add to, these six goals (shown below) to ensure USA Ultimate is headed in the right direction? (please be specific!)
1. Increase the visibility of Ultimate
2. Grow youth, college, and league Ultimate
3. Organize the highest quality US competitive events
4. Achieve sustained excellence of Team USA
5. Celebrate and uphold Spirit of the Game, as well as USA Ultimate’s core values
6. Govern the organization to ensure stability and excellence
i'm mainly concerned with what it means to "govern the organization to ensure stability and excellence." This directly relates to the other goals listed above. To keep things relevant with the problems people see in our federal government, i don't think that any of the USAU members really knows where our fees go. We have to pay for tournaments, travel, accommodations, etc. so other than a quarterly (maybe) magazine where do they go?
The increased viability (1), and spread of the game (2) are related to the same concerns. If the people that you already have as members are not sold on what you actually provide, then it's hard to spread the game with USAU having knowledge of it. The game is awesome (unquestionably) but it's played in pockets that don't use USAU at all, and this will continue. I find that part of the charm is that it's not a highly visible sport but yet you can play it at a super high level and be recognized worldwide. Kind of amazing. So if making the game more visible takes that away, i don't want it.
until then---
so here's a written response that i gave them, and though it's not nasty or bitter or anything controversial, i thought it'd be good to post. (the bold is from the survey, non-bold is my response.)
Since your response to the previous question suggested that you don't feel that these six goals provide the right direction for USA Ultimate...
How would you change, or add to, these six goals (shown below) to ensure USA Ultimate is headed in the right direction? (please be specific!)
1. Increase the visibility of Ultimate
2. Grow youth, college, and league Ultimate
3. Organize the highest quality US competitive events
4. Achieve sustained excellence of Team USA
5. Celebrate and uphold Spirit of the Game, as well as USA Ultimate’s core values
6. Govern the organization to ensure stability and excellence
i'm mainly concerned with what it means to "govern the organization to ensure stability and excellence." This directly relates to the other goals listed above. To keep things relevant with the problems people see in our federal government, i don't think that any of the USAU members really knows where our fees go. We have to pay for tournaments, travel, accommodations, etc. so other than a quarterly (maybe) magazine where do they go?
The increased viability (1), and spread of the game (2) are related to the same concerns. If the people that you already have as members are not sold on what you actually provide, then it's hard to spread the game with USAU having knowledge of it. The game is awesome (unquestionably) but it's played in pockets that don't use USAU at all, and this will continue. I find that part of the charm is that it's not a highly visible sport but yet you can play it at a super high level and be recognized worldwide. Kind of amazing. So if making the game more visible takes that away, i don't want it.
until then---
15.11.11
i've written about this topic/dilemma before, but apparently it's new again with the presidential elections coming up... next year. this article i found Should Candidates’ Religion Matter? (please visit the link if you have time, as i'm sure the author would like to see the hits he gets for readers!) addresses a bit more the same things that i was thinking. honestly, i was hoping that it's bring up more of an opposing view, but rather a more thorough one of my own is okay in my book:
Exploring the role of faith in our voting decisions.
I’m troubled when I see presidential candidates pull out the faith card. It’s even worse when they do it in ways that try to “out-Christian” the other candidates. I can’t help but wrinkle my brow with a hint of disgust and “are-you-kidding-me”.
When I was a kid, my brothers and I would sometimes use the phrase “I swear to God!” when we were trying to convince each other we should be believed. Most young boys have integrity issues (as well as a penchant for deception), so we would occasionally feel the need to bring up God’s name to back up our own word. In essence we were saying, “You may not believe me on my own merit, but I’m bringing God in on this to back me up!”
We adults are far less likely to openly “swear by heaven,” but I can’t help but wonder if we aren’t just a little more sophisticated at it. Ever see a Christian businessperson with the Christian “fish” symbol prominently displayed on his or her business card? I’ve seen it on the cards of plumbers, carpenters, car salespeople, etc. I’ve even seen lawyers and doctors use it. I live smack in the buckle of the Bible belt in Tulsa, Ok.—people slap Jesus on everything from pizza places to construction companies. But, if I’m honest, I really don’t want to know if they love Jesus when I’m ordering a pizza; I want to know if they make good pizzas (it’s been my experience that pagan pizza sometimes tastes better). Their religious affiliation is a non-question for me.
Some politicians may think they are honoring God by putting Jesus on parade, but I am suspicious that something more is going on—that many of these individuals are trying to use God to give them more credibility than they have earned on their own. I appreciate any person who is a Christian, but are they qualified to do the work they do? Do they have a good reputation? Is their customer service satisfactory? Or does their "fish" imply God is siding with them and so should I? Or are they trying to make me feel (consciously or not) like if I don’t use them I am resisting God in some way?
My father was a physician as I was growing up and he had a bad taste in his mouth about those who quickly referred to themselves as “Christian” doctors (he was an agnostic till late in life). This was because of a missionary doctor he knew who had come back to the States to practice medicine after being gone for nearly 20 years overseas. My dad said he was prescribing drugs that had stopped being used fifteen years before. He told me, “He should stop hiding behind his faith and get into some ongoing education classes. He’s a horrible doctor who talks about God all the time.”
Wouldn't you rather have a surgeon who was known more for her skill than for her faith? If she were the best surgeon in the country and you found out she was a Christian—well, that would be cool. But wouldn’t you rather be operated on by a brilliant surgeon who may be a Buddhist than by a sloppy one who had a fish logo or cross on their office sign and website?
This is the kind of thing Jesus was pushing against when He forbade “swearing.” He said we are not to swear by heaven (Matt. 5:34), but to “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one” (v. 37). He was telling us not to bring God into the equation to prove we are telling the truth or to prove we should be trusted. People need to work on their reputations and on being the best at what they do, not on swearing by heaven.
This goes for the political candidates as well. Always bringing faith into the discussion creates a distraction from the person’s actual record. Values and morality are important, yes, but are not always an indicator of one's capabilities and policies. It avoids questions like: Is the candidate good at governing? Is she committed to justice? What is his voting record?
And why exactly do we need to know if one candidate is a person of faith? Furthermore, why should we be afraid of those who come from no faith or other faiths (in this particular election, the ongoing discussion of the credibility of candidates in the "cult" of Mormonism)? Is it because we believe that if we get the “right” candidate into office that he or she will “fix” all that ails the human community? Those of us who are Christians should know better than that. It is simply not true. The “fix” we need will never be the result of electing the right public servant or having the right national resolve; it’s the stuff of God’s Kingdom. And that Kingdom is still on its way—it may be here a little, but it is not here fully. And it won’t be here fully until Jesus returns. That means this side of eternity all human systems will continue to be broken to some degree.
“Shouldn’t we try to fix what we can?” you may ask. Absolutely. But a candidate being a Christian doesn’t ensure that he or she can fix things anymore than it ensures that he or she is a good parent or a wise businessperson (How many bad Christian parents and crooked Christian business people have you dealt with?). What is really at stake here is not whether or not the candidate has faith, but whether or not he or she is actually a good at public policy and has demonstrated the capacity to marshal the resources available for the good of all.
In St. Augustine’s massive work, City of God, he argued that secular rulers are still under the providence of God—that it is okay for the Church to work with those without faith as it pertains to the governance of a fallen world. Augustine points to Jesus’ claim that Pilate’s authority was given to him by God (John 19:11), though he was not a person of faith. The implication is that we should look for, hope for, pray for and vote for individuals who are the best candidates to lead—whether or not they lead us in prayer.
Ed Gungor is a pastor and author, and sometimes blogs at SaltTribe.
as always, i'm a glutton for your thoughts. hit me. until then---
Exploring the role of faith in our voting decisions.
I’m troubled when I see presidential candidates pull out the faith card. It’s even worse when they do it in ways that try to “out-Christian” the other candidates. I can’t help but wrinkle my brow with a hint of disgust and “are-you-kidding-me”.
When I was a kid, my brothers and I would sometimes use the phrase “I swear to God!” when we were trying to convince each other we should be believed. Most young boys have integrity issues (as well as a penchant for deception), so we would occasionally feel the need to bring up God’s name to back up our own word. In essence we were saying, “You may not believe me on my own merit, but I’m bringing God in on this to back me up!”
We adults are far less likely to openly “swear by heaven,” but I can’t help but wonder if we aren’t just a little more sophisticated at it. Ever see a Christian businessperson with the Christian “fish” symbol prominently displayed on his or her business card? I’ve seen it on the cards of plumbers, carpenters, car salespeople, etc. I’ve even seen lawyers and doctors use it. I live smack in the buckle of the Bible belt in Tulsa, Ok.—people slap Jesus on everything from pizza places to construction companies. But, if I’m honest, I really don’t want to know if they love Jesus when I’m ordering a pizza; I want to know if they make good pizzas (it’s been my experience that pagan pizza sometimes tastes better). Their religious affiliation is a non-question for me.
Some politicians may think they are honoring God by putting Jesus on parade, but I am suspicious that something more is going on—that many of these individuals are trying to use God to give them more credibility than they have earned on their own. I appreciate any person who is a Christian, but are they qualified to do the work they do? Do they have a good reputation? Is their customer service satisfactory? Or does their "fish" imply God is siding with them and so should I? Or are they trying to make me feel (consciously or not) like if I don’t use them I am resisting God in some way?
My father was a physician as I was growing up and he had a bad taste in his mouth about those who quickly referred to themselves as “Christian” doctors (he was an agnostic till late in life). This was because of a missionary doctor he knew who had come back to the States to practice medicine after being gone for nearly 20 years overseas. My dad said he was prescribing drugs that had stopped being used fifteen years before. He told me, “He should stop hiding behind his faith and get into some ongoing education classes. He’s a horrible doctor who talks about God all the time.”
Wouldn't you rather have a surgeon who was known more for her skill than for her faith? If she were the best surgeon in the country and you found out she was a Christian—well, that would be cool. But wouldn’t you rather be operated on by a brilliant surgeon who may be a Buddhist than by a sloppy one who had a fish logo or cross on their office sign and website?
This is the kind of thing Jesus was pushing against when He forbade “swearing.” He said we are not to swear by heaven (Matt. 5:34), but to “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one” (v. 37). He was telling us not to bring God into the equation to prove we are telling the truth or to prove we should be trusted. People need to work on their reputations and on being the best at what they do, not on swearing by heaven.
This goes for the political candidates as well. Always bringing faith into the discussion creates a distraction from the person’s actual record. Values and morality are important, yes, but are not always an indicator of one's capabilities and policies. It avoids questions like: Is the candidate good at governing? Is she committed to justice? What is his voting record?
And why exactly do we need to know if one candidate is a person of faith? Furthermore, why should we be afraid of those who come from no faith or other faiths (in this particular election, the ongoing discussion of the credibility of candidates in the "cult" of Mormonism)? Is it because we believe that if we get the “right” candidate into office that he or she will “fix” all that ails the human community? Those of us who are Christians should know better than that. It is simply not true. The “fix” we need will never be the result of electing the right public servant or having the right national resolve; it’s the stuff of God’s Kingdom. And that Kingdom is still on its way—it may be here a little, but it is not here fully. And it won’t be here fully until Jesus returns. That means this side of eternity all human systems will continue to be broken to some degree.
“Shouldn’t we try to fix what we can?” you may ask. Absolutely. But a candidate being a Christian doesn’t ensure that he or she can fix things anymore than it ensures that he or she is a good parent or a wise businessperson (How many bad Christian parents and crooked Christian business people have you dealt with?). What is really at stake here is not whether or not the candidate has faith, but whether or not he or she is actually a good at public policy and has demonstrated the capacity to marshal the resources available for the good of all.
In St. Augustine’s massive work, City of God, he argued that secular rulers are still under the providence of God—that it is okay for the Church to work with those without faith as it pertains to the governance of a fallen world. Augustine points to Jesus’ claim that Pilate’s authority was given to him by God (John 19:11), though he was not a person of faith. The implication is that we should look for, hope for, pray for and vote for individuals who are the best candidates to lead—whether or not they lead us in prayer.
Ed Gungor is a pastor and author, and sometimes blogs at SaltTribe.
as always, i'm a glutton for your thoughts. hit me. until then---
12.10.11
i don't normally quote my own work, but as Kindred Fall has been working on newer material, i've managed to get certain songs stuck in my head. this is one that i wrote in a moment of frustration with what's going on in my life and it's been resonating with me basically since i wrote it. i'm not going to spend time explaining what it means, but instead take it for what it is: just another song i wrote. enjoy Symphony of Fools:
i keep falling asleep behind the wheel
can't remember the place i'm headed
i am falling asleep behind the wheel
and this time it's real
like the symphony of fools
that i played on my stereo
when i tried to play it cool
you just looked away suddenly
it's the constant shock
i try to give my self
to wake up
i'll keep falling asleep behind the wheel
as long as i'm driving down that road
i'm not falling asleep behind the wheel
i've already passed away
like the symphony of fools
that i played on my stereo
when i tried to play it cool
you just looked away suddenly
it's the constant shock
i try to give my self
to wake up
again
until then---
i keep falling asleep behind the wheel
can't remember the place i'm headed
i am falling asleep behind the wheel
and this time it's real
like the symphony of fools
that i played on my stereo
when i tried to play it cool
you just looked away suddenly
it's the constant shock
i try to give my self
to wake up
i'll keep falling asleep behind the wheel
as long as i'm driving down that road
i'm not falling asleep behind the wheel
i've already passed away
like the symphony of fools
that i played on my stereo
when i tried to play it cool
you just looked away suddenly
it's the constant shock
i try to give my self
to wake up
again
until then---
9.8.11
so i was tooling around this morning looking for some current news (twitter wasn't giving me enough information), so of course i went to the NPR site and ended up finding too much to listen to/read. (this is not really a problem, but i realized that i've not been keeping current... BAD!)
i came across this piece which should be of interest to both my Christian friends and non-Christian friends alike. apparently, that has been some more dispute over the reality of science in the Christian faith. this one in particular is questioning the existence of Adam and Eve. kind of a big deal.
through my personal studies, i've come up with my own take that kind of blends the two thoughts into a very real, very possible way of thinking that the Genesis story is historically accurate and that evolution is still a very real thing (as it most definitely is). some of my college friends may have hear me speak on this before, but the logic of my stance comes from the language: once i learned that "ADAM" is a word for "man" in Hebrew, a door was open for my understanding of the intersection of my faith and science.
there are essentially two accounts of the creation of "man." the first in the linear 'day one, day two', etc. found in Genesis 1:26-31. then another account soon after at Genesis 2:7 (continuing with woman later in the chapter). in some discussions i've had in the past, this has never been explained in a way that made me think that these couldn't be referencing two different events. or better: a broad event and a specific one. God created man; Adam was one of these men and this is the story of his descendants.
just like fact that God created the universe is more important that the time period that it took him to do it, thinking that God created man, then we have a story about God's chosen people starting in Genesis 2, seems to work and make sense in my mind. it's not like there is an explanation needed for the people that Cain and Abel marry, or the many other nations that the Hebrew people encounter during the entire scripture, but this could account for it.
the report only hints at this idea of the importance of the Adam and Eve story, but that hint is huge: Judaism, Islam, and Christianity have no basis if there are no Adam and Eve. no story of the fall of God's people. the acceptance of Gentiles by God's people. all moot. science is great and there is a reason that it all works. my faith leads me to believe that the science was set in motion, and didn't just "exist" but that doesn't make it any less real. i'm curious of others thoughts which is what prompted this almost rant. besides i've not written in a while...BAD. feels good. until then---
i came across this piece which should be of interest to both my Christian friends and non-Christian friends alike. apparently, that has been some more dispute over the reality of science in the Christian faith. this one in particular is questioning the existence of Adam and Eve. kind of a big deal.
through my personal studies, i've come up with my own take that kind of blends the two thoughts into a very real, very possible way of thinking that the Genesis story is historically accurate and that evolution is still a very real thing (as it most definitely is). some of my college friends may have hear me speak on this before, but the logic of my stance comes from the language: once i learned that "ADAM" is a word for "man" in Hebrew, a door was open for my understanding of the intersection of my faith and science.
there are essentially two accounts of the creation of "man." the first in the linear 'day one, day two', etc. found in Genesis 1:26-31. then another account soon after at Genesis 2:7 (continuing with woman later in the chapter). in some discussions i've had in the past, this has never been explained in a way that made me think that these couldn't be referencing two different events. or better: a broad event and a specific one. God created man; Adam was one of these men and this is the story of his descendants.
just like fact that God created the universe is more important that the time period that it took him to do it, thinking that God created man, then we have a story about God's chosen people starting in Genesis 2, seems to work and make sense in my mind. it's not like there is an explanation needed for the people that Cain and Abel marry, or the many other nations that the Hebrew people encounter during the entire scripture, but this could account for it.
the report only hints at this idea of the importance of the Adam and Eve story, but that hint is huge: Judaism, Islam, and Christianity have no basis if there are no Adam and Eve. no story of the fall of God's people. the acceptance of Gentiles by God's people. all moot. science is great and there is a reason that it all works. my faith leads me to believe that the science was set in motion, and didn't just "exist" but that doesn't make it any less real. i'm curious of others thoughts which is what prompted this almost rant. besides i've not written in a while...BAD. feels good. until then---
15.6.11
i haven't made time to put in words many of the things going on with me, but an article i just read, written by Jon Foreman (Switchfoot, Fiction Family) pretty well sums it up:
"Making a Living" for the Huffington Post.
"Hate was just a failure of imagination." -- Graham Greene
Re-appropriate is a word that I stole from my friend David Dark. He'd stolen it from a guy named Jeff Tweedy. It's a good word to steal. In fact, of all the words I've stolen in my lifetime I feel the least remorse for lifting this one. Re-appropriate: to seize and reassign. It's very definition encourages a theft of sorts. I suppose all of language works like that: taking anonymous words and making them our own. This enlightened practice of re-appropriation is unique to the human experience: We adapt within our situation to make the most of it. All other creatures are defined by their innate abilities, mostly untaught. A worm is not taught how to crawl. A chameleon is not taught how to change colors. A rabbit, a horse, a spider- these creatures are defined by themselves and their intrinsic giftings. We human beings are not like this: we bend, we learn, we invent, we change. Humanity has been making herself up all along. Making life. Making a living.
I would like to re-appropriate the phrase "making a living" to mean something larger than accumulating net worth in an online bank account. I'd like to suggest that ATM receipts and mortgage payments have very little to do with living or life or making life worth living. In my personal struggle to make a living, I've found that true success has very little to do with income or comfort. In fact, it seems to me that inconvenience, hardship and discomfort are my best teachers. It's as though these horrible, wonderful moments where I realize my own limitations are almost exclusively the only ones that matter. So when I'm brave enough, I chase these awkward moments down. I write songs about them. I put my scattered thoughts online. Heck, I even seek therapy from time to time. Love, dreams, confessions, God, women -- these are dreadful, awe-inspiring mysteries to me. They put a funny taste in my mouth. They give me scrapes and scars. And stories.
The best stories often come from inconvenient and uncomfortable places.
Like a newborn child, real life comes out painfully, awkwardly, delicately. As a pearl is formed only when the oyster is agitated with sand, the most important moments in my life were born out of friction. The art comes from the awkward ache. The knot in my stomach usually teaches me more than comfort ever could. The sculptor's chisel carves away at the block to bring something new into being. In the same way, we hammer away at the world we're given to bring something new into being. We re-appropriate the past and present to create the future -- breath by breath.
We are making our living on a dying planet, born into a world of contingencies.
Ours world is torn to shreds by the greed of men, the intolerance of our times, and the wars that rage on in the world around us. Every day our bodies are decaying. On the day of our birth, our death becomes an eventuality. Yes, the world we've been given is under the dark shadow of these struggles. We're born into the fight. It's as though we're armed only with a dream. So it's no surprise that our hopes are dulled on the battlefield of institutionalized cynicism. In this world of death and taxes we might even begin to question whether dreams are appropriate. Against the backdrop of despair, we are tempted to abandon the struggle of hope and accept dead cash instead. We're tempted to believe that "the real world" could never be anything other than it is.
But isn't "the real world" largely what we humans have made it? Let us remind ourselves that the "financial security" that we are slaving for is anything but secure. Let's remember that this peace of mind recently went bankrupt. Yes, these supposedly stalwart investment institutions were bailed out by a government that faces an insurmountable debt. Let's take it even further and recall that none of us has any control or security over the day of our birth or death. And in this context I believe that "making a living" cannot be tied to the paycheck alone. Rather we make the real world of tomorrow today. Moment by blessed moment, we're making a living.
To make this kind of living takes incredible creativity. To see the limitless possibility in the present moment takes a wild imagination. And it's not just artists that need this untamed ingenuity.
A good teacher is creative. A good computer programmer is creative. A good mom is incredibly creative. A good lawyer looks beyond the contingencies of injustice and works to bring a more virtuous existence into being.
In fact, the argument could be made that a human being is most God-like when she is most creative: ingeniously crafting the true and the beautiful out of the confines of the present tense. Remixing tomorrow out of the raw materials of today. Re-appropriating a dream into reality. And it's not just vagabond surfers who chase down preposterous dreams of doing what they love -- humanity has been doing this all along. Flying without wings? Landing on the moon? Recording and amplifying sound? Yes. We invent, we progress, and we make it up as we go along. Does it sound like a swindle, like cheating the system? Does it sound outrageous!? It absolutely is! But that's what making a living is my friends -- it's scandalous! Yes, and the outrageous souls who are willing to risk failure might be the only ones who are truly making a living. For better or worse they are defining the world our children will inherit.
This world is a hand-me-down. It was given to us by our parents -- women and men much like ourselves. Human beings in love, human beings rejected, human beings hungry, restless, apathetic and hopeful: ever-changing, ever-adapting. Yes, the human soul is a bundle of conflicting desires. You want peace but you love excitement. You hate math but you want to graduate. You love your parents but they drive you crazy. Even our hopes are at odds with each other. The rent? The relationship? The career? The vacation? Our dreams rarely line up. It's messy stuff, but these are the raw materials that life has given you. You had no choice as to where your journey begins, but the choice is available to you now. You could argue that you didn't choose to be born, that there are factors of your existence over which you have little or no control. It's true, these are the contingencies we were born into. Your heart, your bones, your soul, your sexuality -- these were given to you. Given to you as a painter is given a canvas and a brush. Given to you as a sculptor is given a block of marble. St Francis of Assisi said that "He who works with his hands and his head and his heart is an artist." Your artistry? Your craft? You are making a living.
Which is to say that you are the art. Your words, your haircut, your clothes, your actions -- these display your unique blend of past and present, desire and lack thereof, insecurity and purpose. You are the painting, and everyday you're painting yourself and the world around you.
Every moment is a canvas is waiting to come to life. The walls of this planet and the walls of your heart are still available to graffiti artists everywhere. There's still room for redemptive, honest, hopeful colors. You put your brush to canvas with every decision, with every breath. We are the human race. We are the re-appropriators. But none of us are creating out of nothing. Human creation is always re-appropriation. Trying to put beauty into form.
Tom Morrello once said that "Music is like sausage." He was killing time on-stage in a club called Hotel Cafe in Hollywood. We were halfway through the encore trying to figure out a cover tune that none of us really knew. It was a mild form of chaos onstage. So as we switched instruments and tried to work it out, Tom told this parable to the patient crowd, "Music is like sausage. You love the final product but sometimes you don't want to see how it's made." It's one of my favorite stories to tell. I love finding something beautiful within the bizarre. Grace within contingency.* Because after all, that's what music is. That's what life is. Re-appropriating the scraps we have at hand in an attempt to create something truly magnificent. Crafting timeless beauty out of our own temporal specific circumstances. My friends who practice yoga have a saying, "Fake it till you make it." Maybe that's what humans do best: we make it up as we go along.
You want to know the meaning of life? This is your highest calling: You are called into the dynamic co-creation of the cosmos. This breath is your canvas and your brush. These are the raw materials for your art, for the life you are making. Nothing is off limits. Your backyard, your piano, your paintbrush, your conversation, Rwanda, New Orleans, Iraq, your marriage, your soul. You're making a living with every step you take. So when you make a living, do not merely make money. Why settle for cash when joy is on the line? You feel a thrill when you dance, when you sing, when you finish your poem; even when you sweep the room you see order pressing back against the chaos. So when you create, never settle for making a living -- at least not the way that the world might define that phrase. When you make a living, you are speaking a new world into existence. You are creating grace within the confines, you are co-signing God's blank checks.
*inspired by Gregory Wolfe
until then---
"Making a Living" for the Huffington Post.
"Hate was just a failure of imagination." -- Graham Greene
Re-appropriate is a word that I stole from my friend David Dark. He'd stolen it from a guy named Jeff Tweedy. It's a good word to steal. In fact, of all the words I've stolen in my lifetime I feel the least remorse for lifting this one. Re-appropriate: to seize and reassign. It's very definition encourages a theft of sorts. I suppose all of language works like that: taking anonymous words and making them our own. This enlightened practice of re-appropriation is unique to the human experience: We adapt within our situation to make the most of it. All other creatures are defined by their innate abilities, mostly untaught. A worm is not taught how to crawl. A chameleon is not taught how to change colors. A rabbit, a horse, a spider- these creatures are defined by themselves and their intrinsic giftings. We human beings are not like this: we bend, we learn, we invent, we change. Humanity has been making herself up all along. Making life. Making a living.
I would like to re-appropriate the phrase "making a living" to mean something larger than accumulating net worth in an online bank account. I'd like to suggest that ATM receipts and mortgage payments have very little to do with living or life or making life worth living. In my personal struggle to make a living, I've found that true success has very little to do with income or comfort. In fact, it seems to me that inconvenience, hardship and discomfort are my best teachers. It's as though these horrible, wonderful moments where I realize my own limitations are almost exclusively the only ones that matter. So when I'm brave enough, I chase these awkward moments down. I write songs about them. I put my scattered thoughts online. Heck, I even seek therapy from time to time. Love, dreams, confessions, God, women -- these are dreadful, awe-inspiring mysteries to me. They put a funny taste in my mouth. They give me scrapes and scars. And stories.
The best stories often come from inconvenient and uncomfortable places.
Like a newborn child, real life comes out painfully, awkwardly, delicately. As a pearl is formed only when the oyster is agitated with sand, the most important moments in my life were born out of friction. The art comes from the awkward ache. The knot in my stomach usually teaches me more than comfort ever could. The sculptor's chisel carves away at the block to bring something new into being. In the same way, we hammer away at the world we're given to bring something new into being. We re-appropriate the past and present to create the future -- breath by breath.
We are making our living on a dying planet, born into a world of contingencies.
Ours world is torn to shreds by the greed of men, the intolerance of our times, and the wars that rage on in the world around us. Every day our bodies are decaying. On the day of our birth, our death becomes an eventuality. Yes, the world we've been given is under the dark shadow of these struggles. We're born into the fight. It's as though we're armed only with a dream. So it's no surprise that our hopes are dulled on the battlefield of institutionalized cynicism. In this world of death and taxes we might even begin to question whether dreams are appropriate. Against the backdrop of despair, we are tempted to abandon the struggle of hope and accept dead cash instead. We're tempted to believe that "the real world" could never be anything other than it is.
But isn't "the real world" largely what we humans have made it? Let us remind ourselves that the "financial security" that we are slaving for is anything but secure. Let's remember that this peace of mind recently went bankrupt. Yes, these supposedly stalwart investment institutions were bailed out by a government that faces an insurmountable debt. Let's take it even further and recall that none of us has any control or security over the day of our birth or death. And in this context I believe that "making a living" cannot be tied to the paycheck alone. Rather we make the real world of tomorrow today. Moment by blessed moment, we're making a living.
To make this kind of living takes incredible creativity. To see the limitless possibility in the present moment takes a wild imagination. And it's not just artists that need this untamed ingenuity.
A good teacher is creative. A good computer programmer is creative. A good mom is incredibly creative. A good lawyer looks beyond the contingencies of injustice and works to bring a more virtuous existence into being.
In fact, the argument could be made that a human being is most God-like when she is most creative: ingeniously crafting the true and the beautiful out of the confines of the present tense. Remixing tomorrow out of the raw materials of today. Re-appropriating a dream into reality. And it's not just vagabond surfers who chase down preposterous dreams of doing what they love -- humanity has been doing this all along. Flying without wings? Landing on the moon? Recording and amplifying sound? Yes. We invent, we progress, and we make it up as we go along. Does it sound like a swindle, like cheating the system? Does it sound outrageous!? It absolutely is! But that's what making a living is my friends -- it's scandalous! Yes, and the outrageous souls who are willing to risk failure might be the only ones who are truly making a living. For better or worse they are defining the world our children will inherit.
This world is a hand-me-down. It was given to us by our parents -- women and men much like ourselves. Human beings in love, human beings rejected, human beings hungry, restless, apathetic and hopeful: ever-changing, ever-adapting. Yes, the human soul is a bundle of conflicting desires. You want peace but you love excitement. You hate math but you want to graduate. You love your parents but they drive you crazy. Even our hopes are at odds with each other. The rent? The relationship? The career? The vacation? Our dreams rarely line up. It's messy stuff, but these are the raw materials that life has given you. You had no choice as to where your journey begins, but the choice is available to you now. You could argue that you didn't choose to be born, that there are factors of your existence over which you have little or no control. It's true, these are the contingencies we were born into. Your heart, your bones, your soul, your sexuality -- these were given to you. Given to you as a painter is given a canvas and a brush. Given to you as a sculptor is given a block of marble. St Francis of Assisi said that "He who works with his hands and his head and his heart is an artist." Your artistry? Your craft? You are making a living.
Which is to say that you are the art. Your words, your haircut, your clothes, your actions -- these display your unique blend of past and present, desire and lack thereof, insecurity and purpose. You are the painting, and everyday you're painting yourself and the world around you.
Every moment is a canvas is waiting to come to life. The walls of this planet and the walls of your heart are still available to graffiti artists everywhere. There's still room for redemptive, honest, hopeful colors. You put your brush to canvas with every decision, with every breath. We are the human race. We are the re-appropriators. But none of us are creating out of nothing. Human creation is always re-appropriation. Trying to put beauty into form.
Tom Morrello once said that "Music is like sausage." He was killing time on-stage in a club called Hotel Cafe in Hollywood. We were halfway through the encore trying to figure out a cover tune that none of us really knew. It was a mild form of chaos onstage. So as we switched instruments and tried to work it out, Tom told this parable to the patient crowd, "Music is like sausage. You love the final product but sometimes you don't want to see how it's made." It's one of my favorite stories to tell. I love finding something beautiful within the bizarre. Grace within contingency.* Because after all, that's what music is. That's what life is. Re-appropriating the scraps we have at hand in an attempt to create something truly magnificent. Crafting timeless beauty out of our own temporal specific circumstances. My friends who practice yoga have a saying, "Fake it till you make it." Maybe that's what humans do best: we make it up as we go along.
You want to know the meaning of life? This is your highest calling: You are called into the dynamic co-creation of the cosmos. This breath is your canvas and your brush. These are the raw materials for your art, for the life you are making. Nothing is off limits. Your backyard, your piano, your paintbrush, your conversation, Rwanda, New Orleans, Iraq, your marriage, your soul. You're making a living with every step you take. So when you make a living, do not merely make money. Why settle for cash when joy is on the line? You feel a thrill when you dance, when you sing, when you finish your poem; even when you sweep the room you see order pressing back against the chaos. So when you create, never settle for making a living -- at least not the way that the world might define that phrase. When you make a living, you are speaking a new world into existence. You are creating grace within the confines, you are co-signing God's blank checks.
*inspired by Gregory Wolfe
until then---
22.3.11
tHOughTs WhilE staRinG aT a WaLL
growing up is weird. (don't we all know it?) but some realizations that happen along the way are what take the cake. the other night i was hanging out with the guys in my second band, My November Guest, at the front man's residence. his wife and two kids are there along with his mother in law and grandmother in law(?). and now, this isn't about him having kids, it's remembering the moments being a kid when my parents were shooting the breeze with friends hanging out and socializing. the things that they talked about that my siblings, cousins and i didn't understand. all the while, they are taking care of us.
it's like the same realization that our elementary school teachers (the younger ones especially of course) probably had lives like we do now and still went out for drinks with their college friends and generally had lives that wouldn't separate them apart as "our teacher".
Seriously, when i think back to some of my teachers, it's still the weirdest idea that they might have had lives outside of teaching! i don't know if that's sad, or hilarious! until then---
growing up is weird. (don't we all know it?) but some realizations that happen along the way are what take the cake. the other night i was hanging out with the guys in my second band, My November Guest, at the front man's residence. his wife and two kids are there along with his mother in law and grandmother in law(?). and now, this isn't about him having kids, it's remembering the moments being a kid when my parents were shooting the breeze with friends hanging out and socializing. the things that they talked about that my siblings, cousins and i didn't understand. all the while, they are taking care of us.
it's like the same realization that our elementary school teachers (the younger ones especially of course) probably had lives like we do now and still went out for drinks with their college friends and generally had lives that wouldn't separate them apart as "our teacher".
Seriously, when i think back to some of my teachers, it's still the weirdest idea that they might have had lives outside of teaching! i don't know if that's sad, or hilarious! until then---
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