i've realized proof that God doesn't mingle with the notion of "fairness." for a while now, i've firmly believed that this same divine being, although in everything that is in existence also is not in anything. as creator and master of all that we can know, he's set the clock in motion with its rules (that we've been able to witness and discover in our sciences). and moments where rules are broken? unexplainable anomalies we may consider miracles depending on the was we each believe based on the random firing of neurons and chemical balances that are within us individually. so as for me, God is life itself.
but this new realization is due to an old foe of my own dealings in relationships. how one can believe that life will prove "fair" in moments that life has provided something to be considered a blessing by most standard is actually a great folly. it is merely a moment; a moment of joy that can't be replaced; an experience that can't be removed except for something "unnatural" (an anomaly in the system that is our body).
so since this stays with us, when the object of our affection defects in some way - as is likely to happen since everything is in constant flux or growth - these feelings of joy can just as easily be ripped away. stuck in the memory of something once good that now leaves doubts of what joys can lay in the future. "if it didn't last once, why would it this time?"
i'm grateful for my faith, for without the faith that the human condition doesn't rely on the "fairness" of life but on our own understanding of it, there could never be forward motion. if we are to rely on God at all, the element of "fairness" must be absent from him. until then---