THOUGHTS WHILE StARING AT A WALL

what is it about our human particularalities (what a word...! that one's good, even if it's not real) that makes us not want to take the first stall in the bathroom? finish off the peanut butter? stuff like that. i mean, someone's got to do it, right? why don't most of us want to be that person. the last cheese danish is there at a party... if noone eats it it will got to waste. just take it! i guess it's similar to the mentality that ends up with people killed coz noone would help. idunno, where does this idea/mentality/particularality come from? until then---

so i just got to thinking: Thanksgiving is probably the only truly American holiday that means more than just a rememberance day, or honoring. though, come to think of it, i can imagine some people thinking of it in that way. they'd celebrate the holiday, only because they have always celebrated the holiday. it's rote, and if the office was open, they'd be there...especially so they didn't have to see uncle joe. then celebrating it would include (not that this is bad...but i'm saying including the mentality) an outing to norms (or maybe better... it's the first place that came to mind... it's right up the street!), a quick happy thanksgiving to the family, eat and then go back home. yay, we just went out to celebrate thanksgiving! all i'm getting to is that this is one holiday that i think cannot be lost in the shuffle as a reason to just have a day off, or be over commercialized. there's something in the nature of the hoiday that should cause it to really stand for something more. and if people are willing to open up and be real about it, even those that don't have much can see many reasons to be thankful. and that means reasons to come together as a nation to celebrate that. until then---

THOUGHTS WHILE STARING AT A WALL

(i came up with a segment called "thoughts while staring at a wall." i figure that it'd be a good way to post more often and to not have to be profound. the idea came to me while in a bathroom... staring at a wall... you can figure the rest, but 'we all do do it,' i thought to myself, 'and i'm sure we have random thought while we do.' so these may come from shower-time, potty-time, or whatever. here goes nothing...)

water is quite facinating. think about it: we as humans are at least 66% water and yet, as we touch it, it does not conform to our being. or even as it touches anything else for that matter. and the way in which it evaporates or even the fact that it does... i'm in awe of the h2o. until then---

"Dream a dream so big that if you just get half of it, you'll still do okay. But don't hesistate. Dream big, man. Throw it out there. Lay out in bed at night and think about the biggest dream you can in you field and prepare yourself to do it. If you can see it, you can be it."

that is a quote from Quincy Jones (if you don't know who he is, look him up...very important person to music). i've been mulling over that one for a while... it's the quote of the month in my school planner, so i've had a while to sit one it. since the month's almost over i guess i should have something down by now...

"Dream a dream so big..." i don't think that i could live without my dreams. they give me hope. i know that they have to come from somewhere and for some reason, so i need to pay attention to them. i have weird dreams though, and the one that i'm chasing now, i've been chasing since middle school. i think that scares me more than anything else is that fact that i've been chasing for so long, what will it be like to catch it? i do sit up at night and dream/think of the biggest thing that i want to do, and i don't know if i'll ever get there, let alone be moving any closer to it. for being so focused in my consious as to what i've been chasing, i don't seem to be getting any headway. i know and believe that i'll get done what GOD wants me too, and also know that he give us the desires of our hearts, minds, spirit... so HE wouldn't do this to me in vain. but at the same time, what is in vain to me, may not be to Him. what He may place in my mind, i guess i may never achieve, but it will drive me to where He wants me to be. for me, either i'm blind or too needy, but i feel that i need some sort of reassurance that i'm headed the right direction. i know that my life was never meant to be easy, and i've come to terms with that somewhat, but i would like to have some way of knowing that this will come to something that i've had on me for years and years. i've gained and lost (definitely, at least in their closeness) many great friendships because of my choices to follow this dream... it takes a lot more time and i can't spread myself anymore thin than i already have been.. or can i and i'm just not trusting enough? i don't know at all.. never have. probably never to say i do... i guess i could work on that. more trust. more faith. though (as i've said before) i have faith that GOD will come through for me, and that He won't put me in a place that i'm not stong enough to get out of, buti never know when i'm being tested in my resiliance, or in my patience. try that one for size. until then---