ever been to "blah blah" land? it's way worse than "la la" land because at least there everything is cool and sometimes a new stimulant introduces itself to my existance. "blah blah" is where i find myself. this place is going through motions or at least feeling like every motion that you may think is innovatinve or going somewhere takes you ablsolutely nowhere. oddly enough, this is not a cry for help of sorts (i need attention! friends come save me from the bustling doldrums!). rather it's just a state that i find myself and i'm jsut puzzled as to how i've gotten here.

somehow i wandered in to "blah blah" unknowing of the oddities of its existance. i'm managing to get by doing most of the things that i'd like to be doing at this time. not many people can say that right after graduating... well, anything. i've got an interestingly good relationship with my girlfriend of three years (i don't have to explain myself, i love her beyond my own death). and i've got great frindships that are also very interesting, to say the least. so if i'm being entertained, or am at least interested in the life i've come to know as my own, why the hell do i feel like i'm in "blah blah"?

maybe there is no proper answer and this land is just a place that passes over periodically just to make me question everything in my life and maybe make a change that i don't really want, or on the flip side, that i really do want and have suppressed it. idunno, but it's weird. i'm having trouble writing (in general... i guess this is going ok...) because i can't really string thoughts together long enough before i realize that "i don't know anything about this! what is this about anyway?" and i drop the idea like a bad habit.

well i sure hope that this passes over. i don't like being in "blah blah" when reality is quite good. maybe i'm stretching too hard for something unattainable. i wouldn't know. i can't think of anything i want with life that's completely out of my reach. until then---