yesterday afternoon, my dad asked me how my Kindred Fall show had gone and i told him that it was "fun". this morning, i realized that i haven't said that in a while. have i really not been having fun lately? the shows have been "good". they've gone "great" or "really well". but i never mention that "i had fun".

i just thought that it was weird that my dad was surprised by the statement.

now, all i can think about is "why the heck did i say that?" not like it's a bad thing, but what made this show that much more "fun" where i actually said that. i mean, the show did indeed go well after all...

as i've been chasing this passion of mine, been able to find people to play with that are chasing a similar passion, did a mini-tour of Japan, and even made a little bit of money along the way, one thing that i've always tried to keep close is the fact that i want to have fun doing what i do for work. i want it to be my passion (i don't have a spouse or girlfriend so there's obviously no competition in that department...) so that should never be a problem.

me thinking about it this much really makes me wonder if i have been missing something lately. it always seems fun to me, but i don't know that i express it enough. i wonder how much that bleeds over into how others perceive my goals... these puzzlements. until then---