just when you think you'd lasted a whole month without me...
i was on my way back from my guitar lesson today when i began just randomly thinking about a friend that works with my girlfriend that she gets into lunch-time religious conversations with. i don't know exactly how they go, but i found myself really wanting to have a conversation with the gent as i've never spoken with him about such matters. but i then went into a thorough process that made me go back to a time in which i feel i was reading the Word more and was more outward with my faith in general. i then realized that i haven't really been challenged with the people around me searching for Truth or for answers in general. i guess that on my own, i don't really know what questions to try to find answers to. i'd be a poor reporter apparently.
but looking back even farther than college, i remember holding many a conversation with a neighbor across the street, Nick, who had so many questions that he'd come and ask me about. this would usually happen on days that i wasn't allowed to go out and play, so this is what happened: Nick would come over and ask if i could come out and play (this should also date this too... elementary school, maybe some middle school) and whether i'd answer the door or not, i was allowed, for some reason, to talk with him untilhe had to go home. so i'd stand at the screen door inside, he'd stand outside and we would talk about faith, religion, and other things that, looking back, seem far too bizzare for children to be worried with. but we were asking real questions. things that i know that have been asked by college students, adults, and seminary graduates.
not that i had, or have the answers, it was fun for me to be able to know where to find them, and look for them. the search for the pertinence of God was more than the walk itself it seems. i feel that it's just become a walk, and i'm not sitting well with that. i've been learning a lot about God though reading the Word in a forum study and through personal search through another man, Clive Staples Lewis', work. but i feel as though my own work has not been as fruitful because it doesn't have the right questions even if it has the "right" answers. every once in a while there will be a gem, but my said challenges in my faith are wearing thin and so are, i feel, the diamonds. until then---