tHOughTs WhilE staRinG aT a WaLL
growing up is weird. (don't we all know it?) but some realizations that happen along the way are what take the cake. the other night i was hanging out with the guys in my second band, My November Guest, at the front man's residence. his wife and two kids are there along with his mother in law and grandmother in law(?). and now, this isn't about him having kids, it's remembering the moments being a kid when my parents were shooting the breeze with friends hanging out and socializing. the things that they talked about that my siblings, cousins and i didn't understand. all the while, they are taking care of us.
it's like the same realization that our elementary school teachers (the younger ones especially of course) probably had lives like we do now and still went out for drinks with their college friends and generally had lives that wouldn't separate them apart as "our teacher".
Seriously, when i think back to some of my teachers, it's still the weirdest idea that they might have had lives outside of teaching! i don't know if that's sad, or hilarious! until then---
22.3.11
23.1.11
3.12.10
so someone posted a link to a 14-part recollection of the "original" Smashing Pumpkins final show which was about 10 years ago. crazy, right? they are still one of my favorite bands and are highly influential as to what i do musically and business-wise. i really enjoyed reading it so i put it all together in one place for you to enjoy if you'd like:
first thing that comes to mind is that we only had about 6 days to prepare the about 14 or so extra songs that we added to try to make the show both historic and memorable. normally this much work in such a short time would have been met with resistance, but everyone was in good spirits to have the 11 months of touring finally over.
my original plan was to book the metro out for the whole month of January and make one last album, writing songs and recording them live in rehearsal and then playing them at night at the 'shows'. can't remember how many shows we would have done per week? maybe 3 or 4. Iha + Auf Der Maur hated the idea and said no. a shame, could have been amazing. band was tight at that point and i was motivated to write more.
we had the 2nd to last show at The United Center, and we wanted to film that as well. unfortunately the building wanted to charge us (i could be wrong but...) 50,000$ just for the 'right' to film, not counting the actual costs it would have been to film. so there is no video that i know of. if there is it might be a lone camera. that show was amazing, although we were criticized for opening the show acoustic.
we had been opening with 5 songs acoustic in Europe as a way to set a different tone because each night the audience was thinking they were seeing the band for the last time. there the audiences went with the somber beginning, and so i stupidly assumed that an American audience would go the same way with it. Wrong! once we finally lit it up with 'glass' theme (song 6) the place went nuts.
for the Metro show itself, we found someone to be a clown in between acts, to hold the sign up announcing each of the 3 parts. what most people don't know is that the kid doing it (a total coincidence) was related to Jonathon Melvoin. i found out before the show, but i took it as a sign that his spirit was with us in the building that night so i said i was fine with it.
we played 38 songs i believe, over 4 hours of music. i had never played that long before, nor have i since. i wasn't even sure my voice would hold up that long, but it did. actually it got stronger as the night went on. the first song was 'rocket', which we were supposed to play after the mellon collie theme intro, which was played off a cd. the theme finished, i lit into the opening riff of 'rocket'.
unfortunately, no one turned off the cd, , so as i was playing i heard 'tonight, tonight' come blaring out of the p.a. classic SP fuck-up for trying to be fancy. the show as i remember was fairly good, but incredibly hot and at about 90 min in the crowd was just totally worn out. i thought to myself 'wow, we got a long way to go!'
act 2 honestly felt like a sad funeral, and people started talking. i felt the whole thing slipping away from me, but i realized that it was all part of the journey of death that we were on. life moves on, and when the show was over i too had to move on. i honestly thought that it would be the last time i would play most of these songs, and it felt good to let them go.
act three was designed to bring the energy back up, and it did. the last encore i think was 'silverfuck', which had a lot of improvisation in it. it wasn't all planned out, and i remember thinking of my deceased mother alot. it all came down to 'where was mommy?' in the end of it all, as it begins so does it end. i turned to look at Jimmy and said 'that's it', and it ended without form best as i remember.
i broke down on stage crying but i remember being quite embarassed about it. i've thought about that moment many times, and i wish in hindsight that i'd let myself just have a good cry right then and there, because you won't find yourself in a spot like that many times in your life. after we had a little party, playing dvd bootlegs of the band on a screen on stage.
once it was over, there was a shift, so playing the videos felt like watching a car crash again and again. it was overkill for everyone, including me. pictures and Chopin would have been better. i asked where James was, and someone had said he had left, without saying goodbye to me or Jimmy, a real final fuck you in my eyes. outside of a phone conversation about business in 2001, i haven't seen him since.
one more thing: please stop asking about the show ever coming out (i say this good heartedly). it will come out when the time is right. it should have come out in 2001 but EMI squashed it, and we got the rights back. hopefully it will be put out one day when tall he albums get re-issued. it would make sense for it to come out with the Machina era stuff.
i think as more time goes by we all should look at SP as having 2 totally different eras, 'old school' and 'new school' or whatever. call it what you want, the SP of 2005-2010 and counting has been a different animal, albeit with similar goals set in a different world.
'old' SP ended exactly 10 years ago this night, and it a'int ever coming back. from my vantage point, that's a good thing. that band will never sell out and never grow old gracefully (because honestly it couldn't). long live SP 1987-2000 a great fucking band when it was 'on'. and a nightmare when it was 'off'. thanks for checking out these thoughts/memories, love BC
in the end, i think it's good to hear the humanity in all the mess of the ending of the original SP. it just makes the band more real. i can empathize with that for sure. until then---
first thing that comes to mind is that we only had about 6 days to prepare the about 14 or so extra songs that we added to try to make the show both historic and memorable. normally this much work in such a short time would have been met with resistance, but everyone was in good spirits to have the 11 months of touring finally over.
my original plan was to book the metro out for the whole month of January and make one last album, writing songs and recording them live in rehearsal and then playing them at night at the 'shows'. can't remember how many shows we would have done per week? maybe 3 or 4. Iha + Auf Der Maur hated the idea and said no. a shame, could have been amazing. band was tight at that point and i was motivated to write more.
we had the 2nd to last show at The United Center, and we wanted to film that as well. unfortunately the building wanted to charge us (i could be wrong but...) 50,000$ just for the 'right' to film, not counting the actual costs it would have been to film. so there is no video that i know of. if there is it might be a lone camera. that show was amazing, although we were criticized for opening the show acoustic.
we had been opening with 5 songs acoustic in Europe as a way to set a different tone because each night the audience was thinking they were seeing the band for the last time. there the audiences went with the somber beginning, and so i stupidly assumed that an American audience would go the same way with it. Wrong! once we finally lit it up with 'glass' theme (song 6) the place went nuts.
for the Metro show itself, we found someone to be a clown in between acts, to hold the sign up announcing each of the 3 parts. what most people don't know is that the kid doing it (a total coincidence) was related to Jonathon Melvoin. i found out before the show, but i took it as a sign that his spirit was with us in the building that night so i said i was fine with it.
we played 38 songs i believe, over 4 hours of music. i had never played that long before, nor have i since. i wasn't even sure my voice would hold up that long, but it did. actually it got stronger as the night went on. the first song was 'rocket', which we were supposed to play after the mellon collie theme intro, which was played off a cd. the theme finished, i lit into the opening riff of 'rocket'.
unfortunately, no one turned off the cd, , so as i was playing i heard 'tonight, tonight' come blaring out of the p.a. classic SP fuck-up for trying to be fancy. the show as i remember was fairly good, but incredibly hot and at about 90 min in the crowd was just totally worn out. i thought to myself 'wow, we got a long way to go!'
act 2 honestly felt like a sad funeral, and people started talking. i felt the whole thing slipping away from me, but i realized that it was all part of the journey of death that we were on. life moves on, and when the show was over i too had to move on. i honestly thought that it would be the last time i would play most of these songs, and it felt good to let them go.
act three was designed to bring the energy back up, and it did. the last encore i think was 'silverfuck', which had a lot of improvisation in it. it wasn't all planned out, and i remember thinking of my deceased mother alot. it all came down to 'where was mommy?' in the end of it all, as it begins so does it end. i turned to look at Jimmy and said 'that's it', and it ended without form best as i remember.
i broke down on stage crying but i remember being quite embarassed about it. i've thought about that moment many times, and i wish in hindsight that i'd let myself just have a good cry right then and there, because you won't find yourself in a spot like that many times in your life. after we had a little party, playing dvd bootlegs of the band on a screen on stage.
once it was over, there was a shift, so playing the videos felt like watching a car crash again and again. it was overkill for everyone, including me. pictures and Chopin would have been better. i asked where James was, and someone had said he had left, without saying goodbye to me or Jimmy, a real final fuck you in my eyes. outside of a phone conversation about business in 2001, i haven't seen him since.
one more thing: please stop asking about the show ever coming out (i say this good heartedly). it will come out when the time is right. it should have come out in 2001 but EMI squashed it, and we got the rights back. hopefully it will be put out one day when tall he albums get re-issued. it would make sense for it to come out with the Machina era stuff.
i think as more time goes by we all should look at SP as having 2 totally different eras, 'old school' and 'new school' or whatever. call it what you want, the SP of 2005-2010 and counting has been a different animal, albeit with similar goals set in a different world.
'old' SP ended exactly 10 years ago this night, and it a'int ever coming back. from my vantage point, that's a good thing. that band will never sell out and never grow old gracefully (because honestly it couldn't). long live SP 1987-2000 a great fucking band when it was 'on'. and a nightmare when it was 'off'. thanks for checking out these thoughts/memories, love BC
in the end, i think it's good to hear the humanity in all the mess of the ending of the original SP. it just makes the band more real. i can empathize with that for sure. until then---
30.11.10
yesterday afternoon, my dad asked me how my Kindred Fall show had gone and i told him that it was "fun". this morning, i realized that i haven't said that in a while. have i really not been having fun lately? the shows have been "good". they've gone "great" or "really well". but i never mention that "i had fun".
i just thought that it was weird that my dad was surprised by the statement.
now, all i can think about is "why the heck did i say that?" not like it's a bad thing, but what made this show that much more "fun" where i actually said that. i mean, the show did indeed go well after all...
as i've been chasing this passion of mine, been able to find people to play with that are chasing a similar passion, did a mini-tour of Japan, and even made a little bit of money along the way, one thing that i've always tried to keep close is the fact that i want to have fun doing what i do for work. i want it to be my passion (i don't have a spouse or girlfriend so there's obviously no competition in that department...) so that should never be a problem.
me thinking about it this much really makes me wonder if i have been missing something lately. it always seems fun to me, but i don't know that i express it enough. i wonder how much that bleeds over into how others perceive my goals... these puzzlements. until then---
i just thought that it was weird that my dad was surprised by the statement.
now, all i can think about is "why the heck did i say that?" not like it's a bad thing, but what made this show that much more "fun" where i actually said that. i mean, the show did indeed go well after all...
as i've been chasing this passion of mine, been able to find people to play with that are chasing a similar passion, did a mini-tour of Japan, and even made a little bit of money along the way, one thing that i've always tried to keep close is the fact that i want to have fun doing what i do for work. i want it to be my passion (i don't have a spouse or girlfriend so there's obviously no competition in that department...) so that should never be a problem.
me thinking about it this much really makes me wonder if i have been missing something lately. it always seems fun to me, but i don't know that i express it enough. i wonder how much that bleeds over into how others perceive my goals... these puzzlements. until then---
28.10.10
so this weekend, we "celebrate" Halloween. not that it's so much a holiday that we all cherish for religious reasons (in the normal sense), but most really love it. i enjoy it quite a bit myself. it's a day (or it's surrounding days) allowing us to all have the chance to be actors! and, although i have no formal training, have been in a total of three plays, and only a few student films mainly for my college roommates, i really, really enjoy acting. i just enjoy playing music more. i've picked my poison, and now i digress.
my joy of this is probably a bit more than others as i really get into character. take this costume for instance:
(i'm the pasty white guy on the right of the frame.) i (controversially) dressed as white trash a couple of years ago. i was inspired by Robert Downey, Jr.'s character in Tropic Thunder, Joe Dirt (David Spade), and George W. Bush (himself). the most important thing that i did was stay in character, even when my friend was selling me out to people that i am really a black dude. this was when the studying of W. was really going to be important: DENY DENY DENY! this was very fun. especially when close friends (even after being told) still questioned my true identity.
last year, i decided a group thing would be fun to do with my band mates. we dressed as the Scooby Doo Gang, aka Mystery, Inc. i ended up with the role of Daphne:
yeah laugh it up. four-inch heels are NO JOKE! i didn't really get to play the character as much with this one (which might be a good thing for my sake) but i definitely looked the part.
although i know my reasons for enjoying this excuse to party, i have no reason to question anyone elses. no matter what the purpose (drunkeness, slutty girl costumes, hiding your deeds behind a mask...) it's a good night to have fun. just be safe out there.
now, i have a reputation to keep up of being a bit controversial with my costume. until then---
my joy of this is probably a bit more than others as i really get into character. take this costume for instance:
(i'm the pasty white guy on the right of the frame.) i (controversially) dressed as white trash a couple of years ago. i was inspired by Robert Downey, Jr.'s character in Tropic Thunder, Joe Dirt (David Spade), and George W. Bush (himself). the most important thing that i did was stay in character, even when my friend was selling me out to people that i am really a black dude. this was when the studying of W. was really going to be important: DENY DENY DENY! this was very fun. especially when close friends (even after being told) still questioned my true identity.
last year, i decided a group thing would be fun to do with my band mates. we dressed as the Scooby Doo Gang, aka Mystery, Inc. i ended up with the role of Daphne:
yeah laugh it up. four-inch heels are NO JOKE! i didn't really get to play the character as much with this one (which might be a good thing for my sake) but i definitely looked the part.
although i know my reasons for enjoying this excuse to party, i have no reason to question anyone elses. no matter what the purpose (drunkeness, slutty girl costumes, hiding your deeds behind a mask...) it's a good night to have fun. just be safe out there.
now, i have a reputation to keep up of being a bit controversial with my costume. until then---
27.9.10
yesterday, i finally made time to watch the film "Up In The Air" and, though this post is in no way a pure critique of the movie, i felt that that's where it left me: up in the air. i actually don't have any problems with this sort of film if there is a purpose in it's ending that way. not all film is supposed to be "fluffy" and it felt that the intent of storyteller may have been to leave the audience with a sure empathy for the main character.
anyway, enough of possible major spoilers. i found this story to hold some very interesting philosophies within it. very real human ideas that effect the way our culture is today. it got me thinking a lot about my current situation, etc.
(now what's next, shouldn't spoil the film for you, but if you're worried about it, watch the film first... i won't reveal major plot or anything, just concepts from the film.)
a major theme of the story is the idea of baggage. things you carry with you that you may not even think about. things that you put on others around you that you may not even think about. this is brought up by the use of a backpack. it starts empty, and you 're asked to fill it up with the stuff in your life: computer, dishes, tv, cell phone, guitars, car, etc. all of the things that you own. once you get your couches and your house (if you own one) in there, you begin to realize this backpack must be something Mary Poppins would have used, and more importantly, there's no way that you can carry it with you. anywhere. so you're stuck.
you are then asked what would happen is you were to incinerate the full backpack.
another time, we start with the empty backpack and are asked to put in it all our relationships: co-workers, acquaintances, friends, relatives, family. all the secrets, the problems, the trials, etc. confided in them and those of theirs confided in you. that bag gets heavy really quickly, too. and so much of the weight is self-inflicted.
there was no burning of this backpack, but there is the fact that some of the things in it are superfluous and should be removed from the backpack.
now these ideas of ridding yourself of all connection to be highly mobile sounds pretty inciting when you really think about it. but you think more, and the relationships that you miss out on are the best ones to have. what can be said (and is in the story) is that a person living with these super-light backpacks are quite isolated. truly, it's possible for that to happen obviously, even if the person travels a lot and is consistently surrounded by people. there's no investment in those people. investment equals more weight. and it adds up quickly.
i can say with confidence, that most rational people would agree that the fist backpack can afford to be much lighter. my friend recently up and left for Japan and is making his life there and traveling around as he pleases. he's very much the minimalist. both of his backpacks are light and part of me has always been jealous of that. in those moments of jealousy, i wish that i was a much stronger acoustic guitarist. but i digress.
biblically, Christs teachings lead toward this very similar minimalist idea: "if you want to be perfect, go sell your possessions and give them to the poor..." (Mt. 19:21), "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions." (Lk. 12:15). there are more instances but i'd be cross-referenced for some time... but you get the point. Christianity isn't the only faith that teaches this, hence why there are monks of almost every faith that go to the extreme: they don't even have backpacks at all.
the point that really hit me in the story and i think that anyone can really take away from this idea of cleansing, is that humans tend to collect things. many things are meaningless, but we're told that they're important. i read something from actor Simon Pegg ("Shawn of the Dead", "Hot Fuzz", "Run, Fat Boy, Run") along the lines of: 'It was 1966 so not everyone had cameras so don't tell me that i need pictures to prove [this event] happened!' this is brought up in the film, too. humans have an uncanny phenomena about our brains that allow us to remember many things that are important to us. we don't need everything that we keep to remind us of them. emptying the backpack (rather than burning it) and only replacing what you truly need is something that must happen every once in a while. it's like a hard drive defrag. the more you do it, the less time it takes and the lighter your life will probably feel. this can even mean (as some of my friends have done) getting rid of those "friends" on the social networking sites that you are just stalking. you don't have a meaningful relationship with them, or never did at least. that's just useless baggage... usually in the form of time-wasting.
i've already decided that this process sucks but it may be one of the most necessary things for me to do right now. before i can't carry any more in my Mary Poppins backpack. until then---
anyway, enough of possible major spoilers. i found this story to hold some very interesting philosophies within it. very real human ideas that effect the way our culture is today. it got me thinking a lot about my current situation, etc.
(now what's next, shouldn't spoil the film for you, but if you're worried about it, watch the film first... i won't reveal major plot or anything, just concepts from the film.)
a major theme of the story is the idea of baggage. things you carry with you that you may not even think about. things that you put on others around you that you may not even think about. this is brought up by the use of a backpack. it starts empty, and you 're asked to fill it up with the stuff in your life: computer, dishes, tv, cell phone, guitars, car, etc. all of the things that you own. once you get your couches and your house (if you own one) in there, you begin to realize this backpack must be something Mary Poppins would have used, and more importantly, there's no way that you can carry it with you. anywhere. so you're stuck.
you are then asked what would happen is you were to incinerate the full backpack.
another time, we start with the empty backpack and are asked to put in it all our relationships: co-workers, acquaintances, friends, relatives, family. all the secrets, the problems, the trials, etc. confided in them and those of theirs confided in you. that bag gets heavy really quickly, too. and so much of the weight is self-inflicted.
there was no burning of this backpack, but there is the fact that some of the things in it are superfluous and should be removed from the backpack.
now these ideas of ridding yourself of all connection to be highly mobile sounds pretty inciting when you really think about it. but you think more, and the relationships that you miss out on are the best ones to have. what can be said (and is in the story) is that a person living with these super-light backpacks are quite isolated. truly, it's possible for that to happen obviously, even if the person travels a lot and is consistently surrounded by people. there's no investment in those people. investment equals more weight. and it adds up quickly.
i can say with confidence, that most rational people would agree that the fist backpack can afford to be much lighter. my friend recently up and left for Japan and is making his life there and traveling around as he pleases. he's very much the minimalist. both of his backpacks are light and part of me has always been jealous of that. in those moments of jealousy, i wish that i was a much stronger acoustic guitarist. but i digress.
biblically, Christs teachings lead toward this very similar minimalist idea: "if you want to be perfect, go sell your possessions and give them to the poor..." (Mt. 19:21), "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions." (Lk. 12:15). there are more instances but i'd be cross-referenced for some time... but you get the point. Christianity isn't the only faith that teaches this, hence why there are monks of almost every faith that go to the extreme: they don't even have backpacks at all.
the point that really hit me in the story and i think that anyone can really take away from this idea of cleansing, is that humans tend to collect things. many things are meaningless, but we're told that they're important. i read something from actor Simon Pegg ("Shawn of the Dead", "Hot Fuzz", "Run, Fat Boy, Run") along the lines of: 'It was 1966 so not everyone had cameras so don't tell me that i need pictures to prove [this event] happened!' this is brought up in the film, too. humans have an uncanny phenomena about our brains that allow us to remember many things that are important to us. we don't need everything that we keep to remind us of them. emptying the backpack (rather than burning it) and only replacing what you truly need is something that must happen every once in a while. it's like a hard drive defrag. the more you do it, the less time it takes and the lighter your life will probably feel. this can even mean (as some of my friends have done) getting rid of those "friends" on the social networking sites that you are just stalking. you don't have a meaningful relationship with them, or never did at least. that's just useless baggage... usually in the form of time-wasting.
i've already decided that this process sucks but it may be one of the most necessary things for me to do right now. before i can't carry any more in my Mary Poppins backpack. until then---
31.8.10
thOUGHts WhiLE StaRiNG at A WalL
so i'm pretty sure one of my favorite things about driving around my '72 VW transporter is the brand new (as in just unpacked) license plate frame going around a blue and yellow California plate that reads:
ALUMNI
CHAPMAN UNIVERSITY
reactions are everything. haha! until then---
so i'm pretty sure one of my favorite things about driving around my '72 VW transporter is the brand new (as in just unpacked) license plate frame going around a blue and yellow California plate that reads:
CHAPMAN UNIVERSITY
reactions are everything. haha! until then---
16.8.10
i have a friend working on a article to put in music magazines or other publications and he was asking me for advice about how to write it. you know, from a musicians standpoint the way that things are written can have a very different effect on us than it does to the average person reading an article. since he's a musician as well, i definitely wanted to remind him of that.
anyway, the article is tentatively titled: "When Power Chords Lose their Power." (he's obviously an acoustic artist, HA! regardless, he's quite amazing.) i had already been thinking a bit about this topic a bit recently when at a practice prior to the mention of this article, my guitarist basically called us out with a comment saying 'i don't want to just play power chords and sing; Taylor Swift does better than that!' (note: it was really weird coming from him. and not just because he'd basically admitted to listening to Taylor Swift...)
so if they have lost their power, then what am i doing? i try to refrain from only playing power chords of course, but sometimes they are hard to avoid using and have been the basis of rock music for a very long time. so what am i doing? i've been thinking about this since i've started playing guitar - playing praise and worship songs for my church youth group. all power chords.
oh come on. i was a convert from bass guitar. it made the adjustment rather simple. and i learned that there was more than power chords rather quickly.
so then, even with that development, what makes my music stand out from the other 'developed' sounds out there. why listen to me, and what makes me relevant even if i DO use power chords.
rhythm.
i've always had a knack for it, but i'm really beginning to embrace the reasons for my using them so much. i've recently been paying more attention to the lyrics of songs in regards to where i write them and when, etc. i find that most of my song writing occurs while on our bustling highways and thoroughfares of southern california. the rhythms of driving and sitting and driving and sitting; the sounds of the different cars going by; the stress of knowing that you'll be late to your destination because someone ahead of you decided their text was more important than the other cars on the road. all of that is in my songs in one was or another.
Kindred Fall is a victim of these same feelings because i am the main songwriter. i've been trying to find where our place is in the music scene (if that so exists here in orange county), and i think that this may help define it. we DO indeed belong here, maybe even more so than some others because we feel what everyone does and our music is the expression we have to give from it.
so, power chords or now, the evolution will still occur. unconventional rhythms, driving rhythms, a-rhythms all have their place in the structure of a song. and may be the defining factor in determining it's worth. not just a chord progression.
i will have to incorporate this into our kick-azz bio soon. more concise of course. until then---
anyway, the article is tentatively titled: "When Power Chords Lose their Power." (he's obviously an acoustic artist, HA! regardless, he's quite amazing.) i had already been thinking a bit about this topic a bit recently when at a practice prior to the mention of this article, my guitarist basically called us out with a comment saying 'i don't want to just play power chords and sing; Taylor Swift does better than that!' (note: it was really weird coming from him. and not just because he'd basically admitted to listening to Taylor Swift...)
so if they have lost their power, then what am i doing? i try to refrain from only playing power chords of course, but sometimes they are hard to avoid using and have been the basis of rock music for a very long time. so what am i doing? i've been thinking about this since i've started playing guitar - playing praise and worship songs for my church youth group. all power chords.
oh come on. i was a convert from bass guitar. it made the adjustment rather simple. and i learned that there was more than power chords rather quickly.
so then, even with that development, what makes my music stand out from the other 'developed' sounds out there. why listen to me, and what makes me relevant even if i DO use power chords.
rhythm.
i've always had a knack for it, but i'm really beginning to embrace the reasons for my using them so much. i've recently been paying more attention to the lyrics of songs in regards to where i write them and when, etc. i find that most of my song writing occurs while on our bustling highways and thoroughfares of southern california. the rhythms of driving and sitting and driving and sitting; the sounds of the different cars going by; the stress of knowing that you'll be late to your destination because someone ahead of you decided their text was more important than the other cars on the road. all of that is in my songs in one was or another.
Kindred Fall is a victim of these same feelings because i am the main songwriter. i've been trying to find where our place is in the music scene (if that so exists here in orange county), and i think that this may help define it. we DO indeed belong here, maybe even more so than some others because we feel what everyone does and our music is the expression we have to give from it.
so, power chords or now, the evolution will still occur. unconventional rhythms, driving rhythms, a-rhythms all have their place in the structure of a song. and may be the defining factor in determining it's worth. not just a chord progression.
i will have to incorporate this into our kick-azz bio soon. more concise of course. until then---
30.7.10
so yesterday, the big news in the United States was the enforcement of the "new" Arizona law, SB1070. this immigration law has been highly controversial since it was brought to the public's attention. i've been listening to radio broadcasts talking about it for the past few weeks leading up to the official enforcement and seen plenty of terrible articles about how lives will be affected, etc. the arguments range from the fact that states have no right to enforce immigration law, to no one should be forced to carry papers to prove that their legally in the country. first off, i believe both of those arguments to be completely off-base but of course there are others involved.
being in another "border-state" i can see how a law like this could stir up some serious emotions; most of the people living near me i can easily assume to be illegal immigrants. they might not be though, which is a concern of the people against this law. under what basis is the law enforcement of Arizona detaining and deporting people? i heard plenty of arguments that say state law enforcement are not properly trained at the state level and below for this sort of action; that they lack training. but i also find this a lame excuse as even the federal border patrol has to be trained; i don't think that anyone is born with a keen sense to know someone is illegally in a country or not. maybe Superman, but he is illegal too...
i'd deport him :P
one thing is for sure: i applaud Arizona's legislature for sticking their neck out to try to enforce something is indeed a federal responsibility. i think that at the very least they are calling out the federal government to do something about what many people in border states see as a problem. if i remember correctly, the states in the union are sovereign and can enforce laws like this as they see fit - am i wrong? states don't flex their power enough. that's all i'm saying there.
so what exactly is the problem with having illegal immigrants within our borders? well there really isn't until they use public services and are employed in places that are intended for citizens in the US and legal immigrants because they pay taxes for it. what i see with this law is an attempt to free us of the idea that we are a country of immigrants. sure, there was a time that that was true, but that can be said of every country. the United States is definitely a country that has been searching for it's identity for the last 200 years. it's relatively young by the world's standards, so it's good to see people taking a stand to define what an American is and that we have laws that we've agreed upon and we can unite under.
i don't mean to get all patriotic or anything, but facts are we have to learn to take care of ourselves as a country before we can go off and "save" another. a nation isn't far off from being a human: if you're not well yourself, you can't properly help anyone to get well. "remember to put the oxygen mask on yourself first then attend to others that might need help."
if individual states enforcing federal laws allow for the citizens of our country to flourish, i'm all for it. i know that there are holes in this piece of legislation from Arizona, but i believe in the nature of it. maybe instead of worrying about being PC, we can actually solve some of the problems within our nation. until then---
being in another "border-state" i can see how a law like this could stir up some serious emotions; most of the people living near me i can easily assume to be illegal immigrants. they might not be though, which is a concern of the people against this law. under what basis is the law enforcement of Arizona detaining and deporting people? i heard plenty of arguments that say state law enforcement are not properly trained at the state level and below for this sort of action; that they lack training. but i also find this a lame excuse as even the federal border patrol has to be trained; i don't think that anyone is born with a keen sense to know someone is illegally in a country or not. maybe Superman, but he is illegal too...
i'd deport him :P
one thing is for sure: i applaud Arizona's legislature for sticking their neck out to try to enforce something is indeed a federal responsibility. i think that at the very least they are calling out the federal government to do something about what many people in border states see as a problem. if i remember correctly, the states in the union are sovereign and can enforce laws like this as they see fit - am i wrong? states don't flex their power enough. that's all i'm saying there.
so what exactly is the problem with having illegal immigrants within our borders? well there really isn't until they use public services and are employed in places that are intended for citizens in the US and legal immigrants because they pay taxes for it. what i see with this law is an attempt to free us of the idea that we are a country of immigrants. sure, there was a time that that was true, but that can be said of every country. the United States is definitely a country that has been searching for it's identity for the last 200 years. it's relatively young by the world's standards, so it's good to see people taking a stand to define what an American is and that we have laws that we've agreed upon and we can unite under.
i don't mean to get all patriotic or anything, but facts are we have to learn to take care of ourselves as a country before we can go off and "save" another. a nation isn't far off from being a human: if you're not well yourself, you can't properly help anyone to get well. "remember to put the oxygen mask on yourself first then attend to others that might need help."
if individual states enforcing federal laws allow for the citizens of our country to flourish, i'm all for it. i know that there are holes in this piece of legislation from Arizona, but i believe in the nature of it. maybe instead of worrying about being PC, we can actually solve some of the problems within our nation. until then---
27.5.10
yeah, so a lot happened, and if you don't know it from the last post that i wrote or from me chatting with you, then we need to catch up. if you happen to be one of my "blog-stalkers", i guess let me know, and i'll write about it. otherwise, moving on!
currently, i've been dealing with residue from last month... this month has pretty much been dedicated to recovery. this means: getting a new car; making enough money to make up for the vacation and start saving for the next Kindred Fall tour; making the best use of days i took back form my main source of income (i.e. promoting the crap out of my band, and writing, writing, writing...); all while trying to stay sane by keeping contact with those i love most.
well, here's step one:
yeah, i know it's not "new", but it serves the many purposes that i need it for. i'm stoked!
as for the rest, it's all been slowly coming together... unfortunately, the mass writing isn't translating to work on this blog so often, but we'll see how that continues; i'm playing with a pen name and i'd like to keep the work separate. i guess that time will tell on that front... until then---
currently, i've been dealing with residue from last month... this month has pretty much been dedicated to recovery. this means: getting a new car; making enough money to make up for the vacation and start saving for the next Kindred Fall tour; making the best use of days i took back form my main source of income (i.e. promoting the crap out of my band, and writing, writing, writing...); all while trying to stay sane by keeping contact with those i love most.
well, here's step one:
yeah, i know it's not "new", but it serves the many purposes that i need it for. i'm stoked!
as for the rest, it's all been slowly coming together... unfortunately, the mass writing isn't translating to work on this blog so often, but we'll see how that continues; i'm playing with a pen name and i'd like to keep the work separate. i guess that time will tell on that front... until then---
9.4.10
I left for new york only a week ago. quick recap: spent about three full days in manhattan and visited rockefeller and enjoyed the top of the rock, rode the ferry to staten island to get the view of lady liberty and ellis island, walked harlem on easter sunday, then a nap in central park leading to more wandering around manhattan before a beer at the marriott martisse in times square, flight to vegas, night in vegas, drive to grand canyon (and walked for an hour on the rim) to yosemite (and hiked within) to san francisco (over two days)... and it's only been a week. until then---
30.3.10
23.3.10
so as i'm sure you've found out by now, i really enjoy looking at license plate holders and bumper stickers during my commute to and from work... as it's a really long time in the car for me in traffic... anyway, i found a gem today:
this lady was driving a huge ford truck with all of these things telling me about her on the rear of her vehicle (in order of what i noticed):
a sticker that reads: "guns don't kill people, abortion kills people"
another sticker resembling this one:
(in lieu of the "enemy of the state" line it had a new meaning for the acronym for the ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union) that i can't remember).
and a license plate holder that reads:
"got jesus?
it's HELL without him!"
(along with a Revelations verse i couldn't read)
ok... so... i'll start by saying that i don't mind people sharing their beliefs on the back of their cars - as i said, it's a source of entertainment for me - but wow. it isn't how many things there are, it is what they are saying. it's also funny to note the pure absolutes that a lot of political stances seem to take. i'll be straightforward: abortion isn't a great option and, yeah, a fetus ends up dying in the process. but guns kill quite effectively as well. just noting it...
also, i'll say so far, i've no qualms with the ACLU, but if she does, that's cool. but just because they are trying to do their best to uphold civil liberties which may leave you with a bit less money in your pocket, doesn't make them communist... or even socialist for that matter. it's actually a simple principle that Christ talked about often, which brings up the next point.
regardless of whether you think that everyone that is not a bible-toting, church-going evangelical christian is going to hell or not, Jesus didn't play the political game. so lady, i think you're missing the mark "wide right". in fact, it was for this reason that he was put on a cross. his refusal to play the game of earthly kingdoms made the ire of the temple leaders ever stronger against the power that Jesus wielded in his ability to perform miracles even as simple as comforting someone in need. of course for those of us that believe Jesus to be God incarnate, we know why that would be so easy. but regardless, the things that Jesus was able to do, and supposedly was on earth to do was to bring a bit of heaven on earth by showing us a way to live.
sadly, it seems that those most often associated with this peaceful man are considered to be political conservatives that don't seem to want to give even their crumbs up to help another soul in need. the "protestant ethic" has gone even further awry. trust me, i understand working hard to earn your way, but blocking others' chance at success is no way to care for your neighbor (i.e. fellow citizen, fellow HUMAN).
after all this, i think i'm just tired of Christianity being used as a political tool. Christ is not on your side. i'm confident that God doesn't play that game. until then---
this lady was driving a huge ford truck with all of these things telling me about her on the rear of her vehicle (in order of what i noticed):
a sticker that reads: "guns don't kill people, abortion kills people"
another sticker resembling this one:
(in lieu of the "enemy of the state" line it had a new meaning for the acronym for the ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union) that i can't remember).
and a license plate holder that reads:
it's HELL without him!"
(along with a Revelations verse i couldn't read)
ok... so... i'll start by saying that i don't mind people sharing their beliefs on the back of their cars - as i said, it's a source of entertainment for me - but wow. it isn't how many things there are, it is what they are saying. it's also funny to note the pure absolutes that a lot of political stances seem to take. i'll be straightforward: abortion isn't a great option and, yeah, a fetus ends up dying in the process. but guns kill quite effectively as well. just noting it...
also, i'll say so far, i've no qualms with the ACLU, but if she does, that's cool. but just because they are trying to do their best to uphold civil liberties which may leave you with a bit less money in your pocket, doesn't make them communist... or even socialist for that matter. it's actually a simple principle that Christ talked about often, which brings up the next point.
regardless of whether you think that everyone that is not a bible-toting, church-going evangelical christian is going to hell or not, Jesus didn't play the political game. so lady, i think you're missing the mark "wide right". in fact, it was for this reason that he was put on a cross. his refusal to play the game of earthly kingdoms made the ire of the temple leaders ever stronger against the power that Jesus wielded in his ability to perform miracles even as simple as comforting someone in need. of course for those of us that believe Jesus to be God incarnate, we know why that would be so easy. but regardless, the things that Jesus was able to do, and supposedly was on earth to do was to bring a bit of heaven on earth by showing us a way to live.
sadly, it seems that those most often associated with this peaceful man are considered to be political conservatives that don't seem to want to give even their crumbs up to help another soul in need. the "protestant ethic" has gone even further awry. trust me, i understand working hard to earn your way, but blocking others' chance at success is no way to care for your neighbor (i.e. fellow citizen, fellow HUMAN).
after all this, i think i'm just tired of Christianity being used as a political tool. Christ is not on your side. i'm confident that God doesn't play that game. until then---
24.2.10
you gotta love the internet... because of the current status of my fish, i typed into google "goldfish belly up alive" and this came up:
"HELP! My goldfish is belly-up and alive!?
For the past week or so my goldfish has been having problems. Every time I feed it, he turns upside-down belly-up. He's alive, but he just lays there like he cannot swim normally. Obviously something Is wrong, and I think this is a sign he might die soon. He's not old at all. Can someone please tell me what is wrong and what I might try to do to help him? I'm not overfeeding."
"Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
OMG, how many times must I say it, a fish thats upside down has gaseous inflation of the gut thanks to maldigestion and blockages, often constipation caused by infection or lack of dietary fibre.
Bacteria proliferate fore of the blockage,not usually aft, because contrary to popular opinion fish can actually fart, basically ferment the food in the gut, respire, causes gas, the intestines can hold more gas than the bladder, and the fish upends. Once they have a blockage they cant fart because their bodies are low pressure systems, and they dont use muscle contractions to fart.
There may be nothing wrong with the bladder whatsoever, but its a small organ, and the GI tract is huge, and if the GI tract fills with gas a swimbladder cant possibly compete. A fish with swim bladder failure does not upend, it cant, they sink or they float dorsal at the water surface, or swim on a tilt, a fish with a bladder expansion or rupture will still stay roughly the right way up, go to the top and stay there, or sink and flop about.
People shout "swim bladder" like they know what their talking about, as soon as they hear of a fish with any bouyancy issue, in reality, swim bladder failure probably accounts for about 2% of fish that get bouyancy issues.
The other 98% is down to gut inflation, and of that 98% percent, it splits roughly into about 75% maldigestion with bacterial fermentation, usually because of a lack of dietary fibre and .the other remaining 23% is bacteria or parasites damaging the gut or blocking it.
And of those incidences probably 80% of those are made worse, by overfeeding, stupidly small tanksizes with a lousy surface area affecting the fishs metabolism thus causing it maldigestion, temperature spikes, detectable ammonia and nitrite levels, and last but not least, having organ compaction from being dwarfed and small for their age which causes organ compaction thanks to having a proportionately huge liver, and make the effect of any gut swelling worse, and of course being a ridiculously overbred fancy in the first place with spinal curvature, a stupid rib shape, and compressed intestines.
PLEASE can everyone get that clear in their heads before I have a bloody stroke. Please learn to descriminate between symptoms.
So the checklist for an upended fish ie one suffering from inflation of the gut - NOT a swim bladder issue, is as follows.
1) Make sure tank temps hold steady
2) Stop feeding it or youll kill it, unless you want to try some blanched mashed pea for dietary fibre. Make the amount small and give it nothing but pea or another reasonable plant source high in fibre for at least a week. Remind the owner that for future maintenance its a good idea to use a good quality food, and to presoak it before giving it to said fish. That way food doesnt expand in the gut and cause issues, also make sure they include some vegetable matter in the diet regularly.
3) Stop telling people it will inevitably die, because thats just bloody thick, rude, and very worrying for the owner of a sick fish, who might, if you actually bloody bothered to give her the right sodding information in the first place, actually have a chance of saving it.
3) Check for ammonia and nitrite presence in ppm with a test kit. Any amount is a problem, counter with water changes that match the tank temps perfectly. Make sure nitrate is under 40 ppm. Damage to the gills from water pollution leads to less o2, lousy digestion etc.
4) Make sure the tank is big enough for the goldie, that should it actually survive, it might have a chance to grow normally ie not get gut issues in the first place. Thats 30 gal minimum, 100 gal plus for big ones. Filters and oxygenators are not optional, you have to have them, bloody big ones too.
5) If the cause is bacterial, try antibiotics under veterinary supervision, or failing that meds like furan 2 or maracyn might kill some bacteria and get the gut down to normal. Those fish blocked with worms need deworming, most commercial wormers also cause purges, which lets face it can be handy in this situation, perhaps something like a little panacur puppy wormer administered in a vegetarian agar . Fish will actually eat it. doses as recommended by weight estimates by a vet or just a couple of grains to get things moving.
6) Some fish will be terminally organ compressed thanks to dwarfing, stupid breed standards ,and yes they might well die, thats just bloody tough, and a good reminder to people to keep goldfish in the right sized aquaria in the first bloody place, and dont for a minute think buying the worst of the tall bodied ryukins, pearlscales and fancies is clever.They are immensely stupid breed standards and very few of them reach great ages.
7) swallowing air doesnt do anything to the bladder, goldies have a gular reflux much the same as you do, the bladder is sealed, and air can only penetrate it through osmotic tissue, when goldish swallows air it either comes straight out of the gills, and dont forget they can fart even if they do swallow air, it doesnt go to the swim bladder, and even when goldies take food from the surface it doesnt swell in the gut, thats a myth, goldies guts swell because of food that isnt presoaked, they take in dry food the gut is full of moisture, the food swells up causing the blockage, the blockage is solid not air, and the gas that does float the fish comes from fermentation in the gut. Just to be completely pedantic about it while im having a rant.
--------------------------------------…
So to recap, thats fibre, feeding technique, water quality, pathogens, tanksize, and temperatures.
Remember, butt up is gut, butt down is bladder, have we got it?
Sometimes its like the last 80 years of fishkeeping just got forgotten. Bugger me. No wonder your fish all bloody die, if thats all you know its hardly suprising.
Maybe the fish will die, maybe it wont, but it helps if you actually try help her, you pontificating, annoying, childish, RETARDS.
--------------------------------------…
To the asker - apologies for my tone, the ranting wasnt directed at you, the info is gold, and I sincerely hope you have good luck with the fish and that it survives.
ps really dont understand why that other dude copied and pasted my post, and swim bladder is swim bladder, if its not the swimbladder at fault its not swimbladder. Gut is gut bladder is bladder.
Christ im surprised half these people can use a computer.
Theres a reason I made the distiction, its because when people call things the wrong name they get misled, cock up the treatment protocol, give out godawful advice,and generally go around causing innacuracies in care that can be life threatening , the distiction is important. How you treat an actual swimbladder ailment is entirely different to treating a gut ailment.
Not that most of you lot could tell the difference, so dont bloody patronise me. When you start getting advice right, and start giving people a way to diagnose causes more accurately with a better understanding as I do, maybe then, you can criticise, until then, go pick your nose or something.
* 2 years ago
50% 2 Votes"
needless to say, i got my answer. i also found out that goldfish can have flatulence and that people are pretty animate about fish-keeper's lack of knowledge of these basics. crazy! but now i know. until then---
"HELP! My goldfish is belly-up and alive!?
For the past week or so my goldfish has been having problems. Every time I feed it, he turns upside-down belly-up. He's alive, but he just lays there like he cannot swim normally. Obviously something Is wrong, and I think this is a sign he might die soon. He's not old at all. Can someone please tell me what is wrong and what I might try to do to help him? I'm not overfeeding."
"Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
OMG, how many times must I say it, a fish thats upside down has gaseous inflation of the gut thanks to maldigestion and blockages, often constipation caused by infection or lack of dietary fibre.
Bacteria proliferate fore of the blockage,not usually aft, because contrary to popular opinion fish can actually fart, basically ferment the food in the gut, respire, causes gas, the intestines can hold more gas than the bladder, and the fish upends. Once they have a blockage they cant fart because their bodies are low pressure systems, and they dont use muscle contractions to fart.
There may be nothing wrong with the bladder whatsoever, but its a small organ, and the GI tract is huge, and if the GI tract fills with gas a swimbladder cant possibly compete. A fish with swim bladder failure does not upend, it cant, they sink or they float dorsal at the water surface, or swim on a tilt, a fish with a bladder expansion or rupture will still stay roughly the right way up, go to the top and stay there, or sink and flop about.
People shout "swim bladder" like they know what their talking about, as soon as they hear of a fish with any bouyancy issue, in reality, swim bladder failure probably accounts for about 2% of fish that get bouyancy issues.
The other 98% is down to gut inflation, and of that 98% percent, it splits roughly into about 75% maldigestion with bacterial fermentation, usually because of a lack of dietary fibre and .the other remaining 23% is bacteria or parasites damaging the gut or blocking it.
And of those incidences probably 80% of those are made worse, by overfeeding, stupidly small tanksizes with a lousy surface area affecting the fishs metabolism thus causing it maldigestion, temperature spikes, detectable ammonia and nitrite levels, and last but not least, having organ compaction from being dwarfed and small for their age which causes organ compaction thanks to having a proportionately huge liver, and make the effect of any gut swelling worse, and of course being a ridiculously overbred fancy in the first place with spinal curvature, a stupid rib shape, and compressed intestines.
PLEASE can everyone get that clear in their heads before I have a bloody stroke. Please learn to descriminate between symptoms.
So the checklist for an upended fish ie one suffering from inflation of the gut - NOT a swim bladder issue, is as follows.
1) Make sure tank temps hold steady
2) Stop feeding it or youll kill it, unless you want to try some blanched mashed pea for dietary fibre. Make the amount small and give it nothing but pea or another reasonable plant source high in fibre for at least a week. Remind the owner that for future maintenance its a good idea to use a good quality food, and to presoak it before giving it to said fish. That way food doesnt expand in the gut and cause issues, also make sure they include some vegetable matter in the diet regularly.
3) Stop telling people it will inevitably die, because thats just bloody thick, rude, and very worrying for the owner of a sick fish, who might, if you actually bloody bothered to give her the right sodding information in the first place, actually have a chance of saving it.
3) Check for ammonia and nitrite presence in ppm with a test kit. Any amount is a problem, counter with water changes that match the tank temps perfectly. Make sure nitrate is under 40 ppm. Damage to the gills from water pollution leads to less o2, lousy digestion etc.
4) Make sure the tank is big enough for the goldie, that should it actually survive, it might have a chance to grow normally ie not get gut issues in the first place. Thats 30 gal minimum, 100 gal plus for big ones. Filters and oxygenators are not optional, you have to have them, bloody big ones too.
5) If the cause is bacterial, try antibiotics under veterinary supervision, or failing that meds like furan 2 or maracyn might kill some bacteria and get the gut down to normal. Those fish blocked with worms need deworming, most commercial wormers also cause purges, which lets face it can be handy in this situation, perhaps something like a little panacur puppy wormer administered in a vegetarian agar . Fish will actually eat it. doses as recommended by weight estimates by a vet or just a couple of grains to get things moving.
6) Some fish will be terminally organ compressed thanks to dwarfing, stupid breed standards ,and yes they might well die, thats just bloody tough, and a good reminder to people to keep goldfish in the right sized aquaria in the first bloody place, and dont for a minute think buying the worst of the tall bodied ryukins, pearlscales and fancies is clever.They are immensely stupid breed standards and very few of them reach great ages.
7) swallowing air doesnt do anything to the bladder, goldies have a gular reflux much the same as you do, the bladder is sealed, and air can only penetrate it through osmotic tissue, when goldish swallows air it either comes straight out of the gills, and dont forget they can fart even if they do swallow air, it doesnt go to the swim bladder, and even when goldies take food from the surface it doesnt swell in the gut, thats a myth, goldies guts swell because of food that isnt presoaked, they take in dry food the gut is full of moisture, the food swells up causing the blockage, the blockage is solid not air, and the gas that does float the fish comes from fermentation in the gut. Just to be completely pedantic about it while im having a rant.
--------------------------------------…
So to recap, thats fibre, feeding technique, water quality, pathogens, tanksize, and temperatures.
Remember, butt up is gut, butt down is bladder, have we got it?
Sometimes its like the last 80 years of fishkeeping just got forgotten. Bugger me. No wonder your fish all bloody die, if thats all you know its hardly suprising.
Maybe the fish will die, maybe it wont, but it helps if you actually try help her, you pontificating, annoying, childish, RETARDS.
--------------------------------------…
To the asker - apologies for my tone, the ranting wasnt directed at you, the info is gold, and I sincerely hope you have good luck with the fish and that it survives.
ps really dont understand why that other dude copied and pasted my post, and swim bladder is swim bladder, if its not the swimbladder at fault its not swimbladder. Gut is gut bladder is bladder.
Christ im surprised half these people can use a computer.
Theres a reason I made the distiction, its because when people call things the wrong name they get misled, cock up the treatment protocol, give out godawful advice,and generally go around causing innacuracies in care that can be life threatening , the distiction is important. How you treat an actual swimbladder ailment is entirely different to treating a gut ailment.
Not that most of you lot could tell the difference, so dont bloody patronise me. When you start getting advice right, and start giving people a way to diagnose causes more accurately with a better understanding as I do, maybe then, you can criticise, until then, go pick your nose or something.
* 2 years ago
50% 2 Votes"
needless to say, i got my answer. i also found out that goldfish can have flatulence and that people are pretty animate about fish-keeper's lack of knowledge of these basics. crazy! but now i know. until then---
27.1.10
he's asking for america to stop being apathetic...
that may just be a nutshell of the state of the union, but he pretty much called everyone out: media, congress, and the courts. one of the points was essentially, they all need to do their jobs of providing for the people that rely on them. it's more of an idea that i've been able to enjoy be traveling overseas: people looking towards something bigger than themselves; playing their hands towards the future.
but this wasn't supposed to be about President Obama's very inspiring (what else is new; probably the best speeches that we've heard since Martin Luther King, Jr., and Abe Lincoln before that) State of the Union address, but the way that we the people seem to look at him. i don't think that most US citizens even know what the responsibilities of the president of the US are... that points to our role in the apathy by the way.
the thing that points to this though is how we talk about the president as having done nothing in his year in office. well what is the president's duties? take a look at Article II of the US Constitution. when you read that, i'd say that since FDR in particular, the majority of our presidents have done far more than they have been called to do constitutionally; both good and bad. so can you really say that Obama has done nothing?
i'm going to step out on a limb as someone that has been on the fence about Obama being elected and say i think that he's doing his job. i'm upset with congress however who can't seem to get anything done. the president is far more in tune with the needs of this nation than the congress elected to create legislation on the people's behalf not their own.
"we were elected to serve our citizens, not our own ambitions" (Obama tonight) is something that i've really believed in for many, many years. it's something that i tried to apply in my years in student government (which seems like eons ago) and in my life in general. it's tough to move forward though - as i learned in high school - if you can't get your political colleagues on the same servant mentality. i hope that they will heed the call and not just nit-pick the things that Obama said he wanted to get done when it is truly their job to get done what we the people want done. until then ---
that may just be a nutshell of the state of the union, but he pretty much called everyone out: media, congress, and the courts. one of the points was essentially, they all need to do their jobs of providing for the people that rely on them. it's more of an idea that i've been able to enjoy be traveling overseas: people looking towards something bigger than themselves; playing their hands towards the future.
but this wasn't supposed to be about President Obama's very inspiring (what else is new; probably the best speeches that we've heard since Martin Luther King, Jr., and Abe Lincoln before that) State of the Union address, but the way that we the people seem to look at him. i don't think that most US citizens even know what the responsibilities of the president of the US are... that points to our role in the apathy by the way.
the thing that points to this though is how we talk about the president as having done nothing in his year in office. well what is the president's duties? take a look at Article II of the US Constitution. when you read that, i'd say that since FDR in particular, the majority of our presidents have done far more than they have been called to do constitutionally; both good and bad. so can you really say that Obama has done nothing?
i'm going to step out on a limb as someone that has been on the fence about Obama being elected and say i think that he's doing his job. i'm upset with congress however who can't seem to get anything done. the president is far more in tune with the needs of this nation than the congress elected to create legislation on the people's behalf not their own.
"we were elected to serve our citizens, not our own ambitions" (Obama tonight) is something that i've really believed in for many, many years. it's something that i tried to apply in my years in student government (which seems like eons ago) and in my life in general. it's tough to move forward though - as i learned in high school - if you can't get your political colleagues on the same servant mentality. i hope that they will heed the call and not just nit-pick the things that Obama said he wanted to get done when it is truly their job to get done what we the people want done. until then ---
29.12.09
i've realized proof that God doesn't mingle with the notion of "fairness." for a while now, i've firmly believed that this same divine being, although in everything that is in existence also is not in anything. as creator and master of all that we can know, he's set the clock in motion with its rules (that we've been able to witness and discover in our sciences). and moments where rules are broken? unexplainable anomalies we may consider miracles depending on the was we each believe based on the random firing of neurons and chemical balances that are within us individually. so as for me, God is life itself.
but this new realization is due to an old foe of my own dealings in relationships. how one can believe that life will prove "fair" in moments that life has provided something to be considered a blessing by most standard is actually a great folly. it is merely a moment; a moment of joy that can't be replaced; an experience that can't be removed except for something "unnatural" (an anomaly in the system that is our body).
so since this stays with us, when the object of our affection defects in some way - as is likely to happen since everything is in constant flux or growth - these feelings of joy can just as easily be ripped away. stuck in the memory of something once good that now leaves doubts of what joys can lay in the future. "if it didn't last once, why would it this time?"
i'm grateful for my faith, for without the faith that the human condition doesn't rely on the "fairness" of life but on our own understanding of it, there could never be forward motion. if we are to rely on God at all, the element of "fairness" must be absent from him. until then---
but this new realization is due to an old foe of my own dealings in relationships. how one can believe that life will prove "fair" in moments that life has provided something to be considered a blessing by most standard is actually a great folly. it is merely a moment; a moment of joy that can't be replaced; an experience that can't be removed except for something "unnatural" (an anomaly in the system that is our body).
so since this stays with us, when the object of our affection defects in some way - as is likely to happen since everything is in constant flux or growth - these feelings of joy can just as easily be ripped away. stuck in the memory of something once good that now leaves doubts of what joys can lay in the future. "if it didn't last once, why would it this time?"
i'm grateful for my faith, for without the faith that the human condition doesn't rely on the "fairness" of life but on our own understanding of it, there could never be forward motion. if we are to rely on God at all, the element of "fairness" must be absent from him. until then---
2.12.09
things are good. not great - well maybe in some areas of my life. it seems few are that great. but i'm off my focus. not that life's been dull, but i'm still looking for more. it's a sad existence to walk into your job wanting to be clocking out. it's even more sad that i don't really hate my job; i just am frustrated with it. i also know that my heart's not in it. but i'm honest with myself: i know that most people in their dull existences don't have the luxury of choice; they don't believe they have the opportunities to break from their cookie-cutter lives fashioned for them by forces unseen. or their bosses.
this isn't s self help course. or a pep talk for anyone. it where i am. "we were meant to live for so much more, if we lost ourselves..." i need to get lost again. responsibility shouldn't tie me down: it should free me to live. it's my responsibility to do what i feel my heart is intent on doing. some people like to be cookies. i want to be freaking creme brulee. with chocolate. lots of chocolate.
it's a simple task, but i've got a problem finishing. i'm a song writer, but maybe i'm just fifteen sixteenths of one. that's all i can get done lately. i have eyes on something else, or distractions of another song, or thought. i need to slow the rats running in my head. they scamper from side to side. i should buy them more stationary wheels. or tubes!
i've got about seven drafts of posts from the last three months that i've not gotten to. i think they'd be really interesting to follow up on. wouldn't you like to know? or not.
basically, i've learned to love again and be loved for being me. i don't have to fit anyone elses picture of success, or even better, be the color they want me to be. so what if i came out the oven a bit later than you and your family? i'm still a person!
but doesn't it come down to love? it can always go back to that foundation. agape. people use it without knowing what it means, confusing it with eros or philos. or worse not seeking to employ its majesty at all. but it's a root of humanity. ok screw you, it's part of mine and i'm projecting. what of it?
i have no clue why i started to write this. i wish i could call this a drunken rant. it's not. i guess i just wanted to finish something tonight. i love you all. until then---
this isn't s self help course. or a pep talk for anyone. it where i am. "we were meant to live for so much more, if we lost ourselves..." i need to get lost again. responsibility shouldn't tie me down: it should free me to live. it's my responsibility to do what i feel my heart is intent on doing. some people like to be cookies. i want to be freaking creme brulee. with chocolate. lots of chocolate.
it's a simple task, but i've got a problem finishing. i'm a song writer, but maybe i'm just fifteen sixteenths of one. that's all i can get done lately. i have eyes on something else, or distractions of another song, or thought. i need to slow the rats running in my head. they scamper from side to side. i should buy them more stationary wheels. or tubes!
i've got about seven drafts of posts from the last three months that i've not gotten to. i think they'd be really interesting to follow up on. wouldn't you like to know? or not.
basically, i've learned to love again and be loved for being me. i don't have to fit anyone elses picture of success, or even better, be the color they want me to be. so what if i came out the oven a bit later than you and your family? i'm still a person!
but doesn't it come down to love? it can always go back to that foundation. agape. people use it without knowing what it means, confusing it with eros or philos. or worse not seeking to employ its majesty at all. but it's a root of humanity. ok screw you, it's part of mine and i'm projecting. what of it?
i have no clue why i started to write this. i wish i could call this a drunken rant. it's not. i guess i just wanted to finish something tonight. i love you all. until then---
5.11.09
tHOUGhtS WhilE sTAring at A Wall
so i'm on my way back from my music lesson today and of course i always keep my wits about myself because there are plenty of people driving that just shouldn't be...
on that note, there are laws in place that are supposed to prevent extra stupidity. in california, our laws of not using our cellular conventionally (without a hand-free device, and no texting) while driving is one such law meant to keep people's attention on the many happenings around them. and just like any good law, people will always think that they are immune from it, or that they won't get caught this time, etc. i'm not here to preach a holier-than-thou speech, because i'm not sure of all the facets of the laws, and i know that i've broken my fair share. (however, this one is common sense to me...) but, regardless, i stepped into the realm of "what if..."
ethics aside (of course), if i were to swerve a little into the lane of a person i just passed next to me that i noticed was on their phone, with my indicator on of course, would that person be more likely to be cited as at fault if they hit me? could i get a new car this way? i really would like a new car... well not new persay, but one that's reliable. unitl then---
so i'm on my way back from my music lesson today and of course i always keep my wits about myself because there are plenty of people driving that just shouldn't be...
on that note, there are laws in place that are supposed to prevent extra stupidity. in california, our laws of not using our cellular conventionally (without a hand-free device, and no texting) while driving is one such law meant to keep people's attention on the many happenings around them. and just like any good law, people will always think that they are immune from it, or that they won't get caught this time, etc. i'm not here to preach a holier-than-thou speech, because i'm not sure of all the facets of the laws, and i know that i've broken my fair share. (however, this one is common sense to me...) but, regardless, i stepped into the realm of "what if..."
ethics aside (of course), if i were to swerve a little into the lane of a person i just passed next to me that i noticed was on their phone, with my indicator on of course, would that person be more likely to be cited as at fault if they hit me? could i get a new car this way? i really would like a new car... well not new persay, but one that's reliable. unitl then---
8.10.09
THOuGHtS whILE StaRIng At A WaLL
the other day i saw an ad while waiting at a car wash that donned this very famous symbol:
if you live in the US and you see this on a persons car, an advert, etc., you definitely see it and think: "by golly, that must be a christian in the vehicle/christian business!" but is this a case of using the ichthus sell stuff? and in turn, using Christ to sell stuff? isn't that explicitly stated as wrong to do in the bible? not only that, i think that it leads into people feeling badly if we do not support fellow christians even if their work is shoddy, etc.
even farther into the problem is the ichthus itself! is it a symbol? an idol? maybe noone worships it directly, but people "respect" it in some odd manner (and even disrespect it as though it has some power, i.e. Darwin ichthus look-alikes).
all i know for sure is that i find myself shying away from that sort of thing... it's one thing to wear your faith on your sleeve (even clothing yourself in it as you should) but i think this sort of thing is terrible exploitation of the faith showing some of the same things noticed by Martin Luther and why he wrote the 95 Theses on the Catholic church. until then---
the other day i saw an ad while waiting at a car wash that donned this very famous symbol:
if you live in the US and you see this on a persons car, an advert, etc., you definitely see it and think: "by golly, that must be a christian in the vehicle/christian business!" but is this a case of using the ichthus sell stuff? and in turn, using Christ to sell stuff? isn't that explicitly stated as wrong to do in the bible? not only that, i think that it leads into people feeling badly if we do not support fellow christians even if their work is shoddy, etc.
even farther into the problem is the ichthus itself! is it a symbol? an idol? maybe noone worships it directly, but people "respect" it in some odd manner (and even disrespect it as though it has some power, i.e. Darwin ichthus look-alikes).
all i know for sure is that i find myself shying away from that sort of thing... it's one thing to wear your faith on your sleeve (even clothing yourself in it as you should) but i think this sort of thing is terrible exploitation of the faith showing some of the same things noticed by Martin Luther and why he wrote the 95 Theses on the Catholic church. until then---
25.9.09
friday morning, i saw a headline on the front page of the New York Times (telling me that it was on a middle page somewhere) that dealt with an important basic right in the United states: or first amendment stating, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances." apparently there were/are protesters in Pittsburgh that were speaking out against an assembly of world leaders similar to the one about implementing the WTO in 1999 that became a huge debacle on the side of the Seattle government (where the '99 assembly was held). a very good film was made documenting the event with a fictional story tying everything together called Battle in Seattle. please check it out. but here's the article as i found it on the internet at the Huffington Post:
G20 Protesters Ordered To Stop March By Pittsburgh Police
DANIEL LOVERING and MICHAEL RUBINKAM | 09/24/09 11:23 PM |
PITTSBURGH — Police fired canisters of pepper spray and smoke and rubber bullets at marchers protesting the Group of 20 summit Thursday after anarchists responded to calls to disperse by rolling trash bins, throwing rocks and breaking windows.
Pittsburgh Police Chief Nate Harper said 17 to 19 protesters were arrested, and Mayor Luke Ravenstahl said swift police decisions resulted in minimal property damage. Officials said there were no reports of injuries.
The afternoon march turned chaotic at just about the time that President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle Obama arrived for a meeting with leaders of the world's major economies.
The clashes began after several hundred protesters, many advocating against capitalism, tried to march from an outlying neighborhood toward the convention center where the summit is being held.
The protesters clogged streets, banged on drums and chanted "Ain't no power like the power of the people, 'cause the power of the people don't stop."
The marchers included small groups of self-described anarchists, some wearing dark clothes and bandanas and carrying black flags. Others wore helmets and safety goggles.
One banner read, "No borders, no banks," another, "No hope in capitalism." A few minutes into the march, protesters unfurled a large banner reading "NO BAILOUT NO CAPITALISM" with an encircled "A," a recognized sign of anarchists.
The marchers did not have a permit and, after a few blocks, police declared it an unlawful assembly. They played an announcement over a loudspeaker ordering people to leave and then police in riot gear moved in to break it up. Authorities also used a crowd-control device that emits a deafening siren-like noise, making it uncomfortable for protesters to remain in the streets.
Protesters split into smaller groups. Some rolled large metal trash bins toward police, and a man in a black hooded sweat shirt threw rocks at a police car, breaking the front windshield. Protesters broke 10 windows in a few businesses, including a bank branch, a Boston Market restaurant and a BMW dealership, police said.
Officers fired canisters of pepper spray and smoke at the protesters, set off a flash-bang grenade and fired rubber bullets. Some of those exposed to the pepper spray coughed and complained that their eyes were watering and stinging.
About an hour after the clashes started, the police and protesters were at a standoff. Police sealed off main thoroughfares to downtown.
Twenty-one-year-old Stephon Boatwright, of Syracuse, N.Y., wore a mask of English anarchist Guy Fawkes and yelled at a line of riot police. He then sat cross-legged near the officers, telling them to let the protesters through and to join their cause.
"You're actively suppressing us. I know you want to move," Boatwright yelled, to applause from the protesters gathered around him.
Protesters complained that the march had been peaceful and that police were trampling on their right to assemble.
"We were barely even protesting," said T.J. Amick, 22, of Pittsburgh. "Then all of a sudden, they come up and tell us we're gathered illegally and start using force, start banging their shields, start telling us we're going to be arrested and tear gassed. ... We haven't broken any laws."
Bret Hatch, 26, of Green Bay, Wis., was carrying an American flag and a "Don't Tread on Me" flag.
"This is ridiculous. We have constitutional rights to free speech," he said.
The National Lawyers Guild, a liberal legal-aid group, said one of its observers, a second year law student, was among those arrested. Its representatives were stationed among the protesters, wearing green hats.
"I think he was totally acting according to the law. I don't think he was provoking anyone at all," said Joel Kupferman, a member of the guild. "It's really upsetting because he's here to serve, to make sure everyone else can be protected. ... It's a sign that they are out of control."
The march had begun at a city park, where an activist from New York City, dressed in a white suit with a preacher's collar, started it off with a speech through a bullhorn.
"They are not operating on Earth time. ... They are accommodating the devil," he said. "To love democracy and to love the earth is to be a radical now."
The activist, Billy Talen, travels the country preaching against consumerism. He initially identified himself as "the Rev. Billy from the Church of Life After Shopping."
Such street demonstrations have become the norm at world economic gatherings, including a G-20 meeting in London in April. The protesters here appeared to number fewer than a 1,000, a fraction of the 50,000 that took to the streets of Seattle a decade ago at a World Trade Organization event.
Later Thursday, hundreds of protesters, including a handful of anarchists, massed near the Phipps Conservatory and Botanical Garden where the G-20 summit was beginning with a welcome ceremony.
"Tell me what a police state looks like. This is what a police state looks like!" the protesters chanted as several hundred riot police blocked them from getting any closer.
Police fired smoke canisters on a crowd at night in the city's Oakland section, home to the University of Pittsburgh, after calling for people to disperse, calling it an illegal assembly.
Police had let the crowd, a mix of protesters and students, remain for several hours before issuing the dispersal order. Police appeared to arrest a few people.
Dignitaries arrived in waves throughout the day, entering a city under heavy security. Police and National Guard troops guarded many downtown intersections, and a maze of tall metal fences and concrete barriers shunted cars and pedestrians.
The G-20 ends late Friday afternoon after a day of meetings at the David L. Lawrence Convention Center.
___
Associated Press writers Vicki Smith, Mark Scolforo and Ramit Plushnick-Masti contributed to this report.
Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/24/g20-protesters-ordered-to_n_298675.html.
there's something that needs to be done. can anybody please tell me how we can allow our basic rights to be taken away from us so freely? they will continue to do so until we stand up for them. it takes knowing what our rights are. educate! if you know, tell your friends! have intelligent conversation. it's our responsibility (stop passing blame!) to ourselves and our polis. for those of us that are God-fearing, this all the more true. until then---
G20 Protesters Ordered To Stop March By Pittsburgh Police
DANIEL LOVERING and MICHAEL RUBINKAM | 09/24/09 11:23 PM |
PITTSBURGH — Police fired canisters of pepper spray and smoke and rubber bullets at marchers protesting the Group of 20 summit Thursday after anarchists responded to calls to disperse by rolling trash bins, throwing rocks and breaking windows.
Pittsburgh Police Chief Nate Harper said 17 to 19 protesters were arrested, and Mayor Luke Ravenstahl said swift police decisions resulted in minimal property damage. Officials said there were no reports of injuries.
The afternoon march turned chaotic at just about the time that President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle Obama arrived for a meeting with leaders of the world's major economies.
The clashes began after several hundred protesters, many advocating against capitalism, tried to march from an outlying neighborhood toward the convention center where the summit is being held.
The protesters clogged streets, banged on drums and chanted "Ain't no power like the power of the people, 'cause the power of the people don't stop."
The marchers included small groups of self-described anarchists, some wearing dark clothes and bandanas and carrying black flags. Others wore helmets and safety goggles.
One banner read, "No borders, no banks," another, "No hope in capitalism." A few minutes into the march, protesters unfurled a large banner reading "NO BAILOUT NO CAPITALISM" with an encircled "A," a recognized sign of anarchists.
The marchers did not have a permit and, after a few blocks, police declared it an unlawful assembly. They played an announcement over a loudspeaker ordering people to leave and then police in riot gear moved in to break it up. Authorities also used a crowd-control device that emits a deafening siren-like noise, making it uncomfortable for protesters to remain in the streets.
Protesters split into smaller groups. Some rolled large metal trash bins toward police, and a man in a black hooded sweat shirt threw rocks at a police car, breaking the front windshield. Protesters broke 10 windows in a few businesses, including a bank branch, a Boston Market restaurant and a BMW dealership, police said.
Officers fired canisters of pepper spray and smoke at the protesters, set off a flash-bang grenade and fired rubber bullets. Some of those exposed to the pepper spray coughed and complained that their eyes were watering and stinging.
About an hour after the clashes started, the police and protesters were at a standoff. Police sealed off main thoroughfares to downtown.
Twenty-one-year-old Stephon Boatwright, of Syracuse, N.Y., wore a mask of English anarchist Guy Fawkes and yelled at a line of riot police. He then sat cross-legged near the officers, telling them to let the protesters through and to join their cause.
"You're actively suppressing us. I know you want to move," Boatwright yelled, to applause from the protesters gathered around him.
Protesters complained that the march had been peaceful and that police were trampling on their right to assemble.
"We were barely even protesting," said T.J. Amick, 22, of Pittsburgh. "Then all of a sudden, they come up and tell us we're gathered illegally and start using force, start banging their shields, start telling us we're going to be arrested and tear gassed. ... We haven't broken any laws."
Bret Hatch, 26, of Green Bay, Wis., was carrying an American flag and a "Don't Tread on Me" flag.
"This is ridiculous. We have constitutional rights to free speech," he said.
The National Lawyers Guild, a liberal legal-aid group, said one of its observers, a second year law student, was among those arrested. Its representatives were stationed among the protesters, wearing green hats.
"I think he was totally acting according to the law. I don't think he was provoking anyone at all," said Joel Kupferman, a member of the guild. "It's really upsetting because he's here to serve, to make sure everyone else can be protected. ... It's a sign that they are out of control."
The march had begun at a city park, where an activist from New York City, dressed in a white suit with a preacher's collar, started it off with a speech through a bullhorn.
"They are not operating on Earth time. ... They are accommodating the devil," he said. "To love democracy and to love the earth is to be a radical now."
The activist, Billy Talen, travels the country preaching against consumerism. He initially identified himself as "the Rev. Billy from the Church of Life After Shopping."
Such street demonstrations have become the norm at world economic gatherings, including a G-20 meeting in London in April. The protesters here appeared to number fewer than a 1,000, a fraction of the 50,000 that took to the streets of Seattle a decade ago at a World Trade Organization event.
Later Thursday, hundreds of protesters, including a handful of anarchists, massed near the Phipps Conservatory and Botanical Garden where the G-20 summit was beginning with a welcome ceremony.
"Tell me what a police state looks like. This is what a police state looks like!" the protesters chanted as several hundred riot police blocked them from getting any closer.
Police fired smoke canisters on a crowd at night in the city's Oakland section, home to the University of Pittsburgh, after calling for people to disperse, calling it an illegal assembly.
Police had let the crowd, a mix of protesters and students, remain for several hours before issuing the dispersal order. Police appeared to arrest a few people.
Dignitaries arrived in waves throughout the day, entering a city under heavy security. Police and National Guard troops guarded many downtown intersections, and a maze of tall metal fences and concrete barriers shunted cars and pedestrians.
The G-20 ends late Friday afternoon after a day of meetings at the David L. Lawrence Convention Center.
___
Associated Press writers Vicki Smith, Mark Scolforo and Ramit Plushnick-Masti contributed to this report.
Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/24/g20-protesters-ordered-to_n_298675.html.
there's something that needs to be done. can anybody please tell me how we can allow our basic rights to be taken away from us so freely? they will continue to do so until we stand up for them. it takes knowing what our rights are. educate! if you know, tell your friends! have intelligent conversation. it's our responsibility (stop passing blame!) to ourselves and our polis. for those of us that are God-fearing, this all the more true. until then---
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